way back into love

i’m in the mood for a very long post. woot!

i know i havent been updating since (when? it’s been so long that i’ve forgotten) but WHATEVER! i’m stuck at home being REALLY bored. i didn’t go to school today (i’m skipping school too often…) because it’s cross country day at bedok reservoir. i was pretty excited about it at first, but somehow now that the day’s come, i’m not quite interested anymore. pity – i sure do need the exercise.

IM GETTING LIKE SOOOO FAT. i eat more than a greedy fat boy does. i can probably eat more than any other girl you’ve met. so just now i was chatting to Mel on MSN, then it was like

mel: i must go on a diet!

jess: me too! omg im so fat. right now im eating long john with CHEEEESE. i love the cheese (yes i eat it with cheese LOL)

mel: i know i love it too but i cant eat it anymore, its so fattening

mel: why u always eat so much still not fat one?

jess: plz la i am fat lor

mel: then u not scared more fat?

jess: of course i’m scared, but my love for food is much stronger than my fear of being fat

mel: …….

LOL. which is absolutely true, no matter what i would NEVER EVER give up eating my favourite food! i would exercise if i wanna lose weight but i won’t stop eating, that’s silly.
if i eat and exercise, eat and exercise there wouldn’t be much of a problem, but the thing is i eat and sleep, eat and sleep. and that explains my current (increasing) size

i’m sooo lazy. i’m starting to be afraid of my laziness. i’m not doing ANY work at all – just sleeping during ALL lessons, just eating like a pig and not exercising and stuff.

if this carries on any longer, i’ll be like REALY FAT AND STUPID (as if im not fat and stupid enough already).

OMG.

now that’s scary.

so, to make myself proud, i SWEAR i’ll go run later + study abit.
AND sleep before midnight, so i wont sleep tomorrow in class (:
if i don’t, a cockroach will crawl into my ass and lay eggs there while i’m sleeping.

sounds like a great plan. now all i have to do is buy the motivation and determination i’m lacking from Walmart, maybe.

nothing much has been happening in my life recently, except alot of quarrels between me and my boyfriend. like not the kind of small quarrels you get over within a few hours, i mean like “maybe we should break up” quarrels. we even had a fight on our anniversary, which was on the 26th, which resulted in him ignoring me for the whole day :( :( :(

FUCK.

but for some unknown reason, my mum called me yesterday and told me she wanted to talk to james. i was totally “WTF”. why the heck would my mother want to talk to my boyfriend, for no reason? but i agreed anyway, (because i couldn’t say no…?) cause she called him and told him about it before she told me.

so he came over to my place after his work. and that was like past midnight already

i think he asked his boss to let him off early. poor baby :( he had to travel from clementi *his work place* all the way to simei *where i live* at 12+am after being really tired from working the whole day to face a very scary “mother-in-law”. he still has work THE NEXT MORNING, that means he has to get up in the morning to travel all the way to clementi again. poor poor baby :(

but i think the talk went well. like really really well. at first, james has always been really scared of my mum (because she IS scary, yep, you wouldnt know) but after the talk, he and my mum seemed to get along better already. they talked for an hour or something. wow~

so me, my mum and james were in my room last night, then my mum started to talk. she went “hi james, sorry to ask you over so late in the night and blahblah, but i need to talk to you urgently about some matters involving jessica blahblah, i approached you as i figured you were the closest to her and BLAH”

then she started to say ALOT of stuff that made me feel really…. xiao mei mei, all of a sudden.

she told him how she was worried about me, because i’ve been really moody recently, and i havent been doing work etc.

continuing with something like “i hope you can take care of her, because you are five years older than her, you are more matured and sensible. she’s only fifteen (yes i’m only fifteen, didn’t you know?) “

yes, the age gap is 5 years. yes, it IS alot. it wouldnt be that big if you were 30 and your partner’s 35, but 15 and 20 – your teenage years is the period of time you’ll change the most and start to grow up, so yeah. we’re still coping with it, doing fine at the moment i’d say. it wouldnt work if he weren’t so patient and nice to me.

halfway through the talk she said “i wanted to speak to you privately, but jess insisted on being in the room to listen -” and after having heard that i promptly grabbed my bolster which i was hugging while listening to her talk and walked out of the room with this expression on my face > :[

stupid mistake.

because i had nothing to do. my handphone’s in the room, i can’t watch tv because my grandmother is sleeping, etc.. all i could do was freak out and bug my elder brother, saying things like “omg mummy wants to snatch my bf, you see she’s

so i pressed my ears against my room’s door trying to figure out what they were talking about, but i couldn’t hear ANYTHING! i heard james laugh once, though.

what the hell. mothers and your-daughter’s-boyfriends DON’T have secret talks! Grrrrr.

then after the talk i asked him, “so how? u want to ditch me already or are u gonna hook up with my mum?”

then he hugged me and started to say really sweet stuff which i decided is not necessary to post on the blog. LOL.

awwwwww. i just love the feeling of being taken care by him. it’s such a warm feeling, i feel so loved (:

sometimes i wonder how he can even stand me. i’m such a demanding, whiny moody bitch of a girlfriend. LOL

i’d have a 20 year old boyfriend than a 16 year old one, anytime.

then after we bathed, we opened iTunes and started to sing songs – at 3am. LOL. i love all the songs he loves (:

i’m sooo glad he has good music taste and doesnt listen to crappy music, like techno. i will NEVER have a boyfriend that likes techno, I SWEAR!

he loves oldies like i do. he sang bon jovi songs, “always” and “i’ll be there for you”. i swear those 2 songs are sofuckingawesome, my all-time favourites

we agreed on using that song as our wedding song. LOL (:

me: “ur gonna have to sing this song when you propose to me”

him: “ok i will” *starts doing stupid things like grabbing my hands and looking into my eyes while giving me a retarded dramatic expression*

me: “but i probably wont marry you if you sang it this way.”

he is sooo retarded & stupid in a funny and cute way, even the way he sleeps is extremely adorable, because he snores like a pig and he sleeptalks. LOL…. what?

ok enough about that already. its been all words words words, so here are some pictures:

really random picture #1 and #2: the view from my bedroom window. lol (:

I CANT BELIEVE IM MOVING TO A HDB IN IDUNNOHOWMANY MONTHS.

UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE!

sorry to say this but I HATE HDBS. i’m spoilt, and i don’t see how that’s your problem?

i have no problem with the majority of singapore living in HDbs, but i just really really hate living in a hdb flat myself because.. it’s small, fucking ugly, and overcrowded.

noooooooooooooooooo. i love the condo im sataying in right now, it’s really nice. one day i shall take pictures of it and post it up (:

yes, that’s the PIE expressway. LOL. weirdly enough, there arent any cars in this picture..

SENTOSA!

view from cable car!

i look awful. but it’s okay, i’m still happy beside my baby

i have no idea why my boyfriend likes disgusting drinks like water chestnut…?

the wind’s blowing, sun’s shining and i’m squinting

my stupid expression

HAHAH (:

i regret not wearing a bikini – it was so freaking WARM. i didn’t wear cuz i had no intentions of suntanning – just there to accompany him

all we need is just the two of us

there’s no other person in this world i’d rather spend my life with, no other arms i’d wish to lie in, no other lip i’d choose to kiss, no other man i’d die to love,

than you, baby.