byebye james

WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111

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I am miserable.

I am lonely.

I am DEPRIVED!

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I am missing James,


who has cold-heartedly left me all alone in Singapore to die while he has gone to China to look for a new cheena wife to buy and marry! OMFG!!!

I’ve always suspected that he doesn’t love me wholeheartedly, but I never thought this would all come true, that he would one day abandon me!

DOUBLE OMG!!!!!

Ok, maybe some parts of what I said MAY not be true..

Maybe he isn’t going to buy a china wife to marry (cuz he’s on a holiday with his parents, it MAY or may not be true)

Maybe he hasn’t abandoned me forever (cuz he’s coming back in 11 days. which also MAY or may not be true because you never know the truth with men!!!)

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Pfffshhht stop that scoffing behind your computer screens you fools, I am soooo not exaggerating.

I know all of you are like, “chey, 11 days only what, not say 11 months.”

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But ah-hah, you are all WRONG!!!

See, ONE day that I am lovesick and am missing my boyfriend truckloads, feels like one bloody torturous year!!!

Which means,

11 days of James being in that FAR AWAY CHEENA LAND = 11 bloody years!!!

Much more than 11 months ok! Eat my shit. I win. Na ni na ni poo poo~~~ *Muahahaahahhaaha*

Ok I feel like a damn loser suddenly. There’s no James around to humour me and listen to all my bullshit, there’s no James around for me to whine to about every single thing!

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Evidence:

Jessica needs a man who can keep her crazy and ever-changing bursting emotions under control!

You see, with James around, I’m happily in love and quite normal and stuff…

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But what happens when James is


GONE??? ………..

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Jessica becomes a retard.

….’nuff said.

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I must learn how to entertain myself now.

New plan = make my readers listen to all my bullshit. HAHAHHAHAHA! *hears nervous awkward laughter from you all*

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Damnit, I wonder how am I ever going to live on when we separate one day?

I would like, probably crawl into a hole underground and leave myself there to die. =(

And then all the ants and cockroaches will eat me aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive.

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Ok ok, maybe James being overseas for 11 days may not be such a bad thing afterall. (I THINK.)

Let’s try to be positive here.

What could be some possible reasons that his absence may not be the end of the world?

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#1. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. He will miss me during our separation, and he will love me even more when he gets back. (Either that, or he falls in love with china women, fuck all of them and secretly form china families over there)



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#2. I can have some Jessica-time. Hahaha it’s so funny to hear myself saying this. But seriously, ever since the 1st day I knew of James’ existence, it has always been JAMES JAMES JAMES JAMES JAMES.

I hardly ever love myself more than I love him, and this period of time is a good chance for me to do the things I have not much time to do when he’s around!

Like exercising more, meeting up with old friends, going clubbing and going home with other men…………..(james doesn’t read my blog hahahaha)

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#3. I cannot think of any other reason. Wtf. The above 2 reasons are clearly made up in a pathetic attempt to make myself feel better.

The End. (If I don’t update soon, I have either taken a flight to China while screaming “JAMESSSSSSS!!!!!….” all the way, or I have committed suicide due to depression.)

Till then,

xoxo,

Jess