Look how they shine for you, and everything you do

It hasn’t even been 2 months since I moved into my new apartment, but it feels like a long time ago when I buried my face in my old bed sheets, huddled in a ball, in tears.

I was feeling so helplessly insecure, and vulnerable. Afraid to be independent, afraid of change and stepping out of my comfort zone….. Terrified of not having a real place to call home any more. I only had less than a month to the date which I’d have to move out of my old house by, and I still hadn’t found a place to live in yet. Every single day I was being pressured into finding a suitable place to rent that was convenient, comfortable, and within financial means. I thought to myself, “Why is this all happening to me??? I’m not even married, or ready move out yet. I don’t want to leave. Where would I go?” After frantic searching and sleepless nights, I managed to sign the papers for a rental apartment a grand whopping whole week before moving into it. That’s how screwed up and confusing the situation was – it all happened at the very last minute.
Then came a moment when he walked over, covered me with a blanket of reassurance.. looked me in the eyes and said, “I promise you, that no matter which house we end up living in, I’ll make it feel like home.” I replied, “There will be no place else in the world that’s home like this.” But I blinked away the tears, and I told myself to grow up.
…7 weeks on, here I am, sitting in my computer chair in my new place at Yishun typing this blog post to you guys, feeling a lot more independent and strong willed. It’s not home like I used to know it: I don’t know every nook and cranny of the house like I did with my old one, and I don’t have a thousand irreplaceable memories here. But I’ve made new ones with friends and family since; I feel safe, comfortable and that I belong, which is good enough a home for me, more than I even expected out of a new & foreign place. 
“I do miss my old room”, I said to him one evening, while looking around my new room.
“It was just so lively and so me – full of bright colors everywhere, almost like a kid’s room, and I felt happy being in it. My current room is more spacious, however this house has such dull, depressing colors and minimal design that it looks dead. It desperately needs life and some color, too bad I can’t paint the boring white walls!”
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And so, a few weeks later… I found him in his room doing this.
He’d bought some cardboard letters from a craft store that spelled out “S H I B E R T Y“…. and hand painted them my favorite color – gold!!! Needless to say, I was really surprised because I didn’t ask or hint for him to do this for me at all. It came out of nowhere (perhaps from the goodness in his heart). Thank you for sweet litle gestures like this, I don’t know who else in the world would ever do something so thoughtful for me!! *sniffles*
Here you can see him painting the letter “S”, which has funny holes in the middle of it because he cut up a number “8″ and re-assembled it to be an “S” – the craft store unfortunately ran out of stock for certain letters.. all the more opportunity for him to show how creative and dedicated he is! That’s my man. 
The pretty end product of his work looks like this on my revamped bedroom wall:
Ta-dah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Isn’t this THE BEST bed you have ever seen?! :’) Roses, fairy lights, my fluffy fat penguin boys and a glittery gold handmade “Shiberty” sign from my sweet boyfriend.

Perfection. ♥
Spot the Fat Santa among his army of oversized black and white elves we brought home for Christmas!
I love coming home and opening my room door to see all of this greeting me. And jumping onto that glorious marshmallowy king sized bed!!! I feel like my whole room has come alive, with this simple addition.

It’s way more sparkly and captivating when you see it in person because the camera doesn’t capture the glitter he sprinkled on so well.

Some nights when I can’t sleep, I gaze at up these lights in the wee hours of the morning and stare at them until my eyes go out of focus, and I slowly drift off to dreamland. It looks a little like this…

When I put my favorite song on repeat and sink my head into the soft velvety pillows… my life is literally made complete at that very second. It really doesn’t take much to keep me content. Whenever I feel lonely or upset, turning on these lights instantly make me feel better. I don’t know what sort of magic it possesses. 
So now, here’s me, in my natural habitat, feeling like a really fortunate girl by knowing that I can always seek solace and find home in the people I love, no matter where in the world I may end up at.

I’ve learned that home isn’t about where you live or the house you stay in - it’s the memories you make in it, and the people who share it with you. I am home, when I am with you.

xoxo,
Jess
xoxo,
Jess

10 ways to lose weight effectively

If you’re human, like me, you would have most likely put on some weight in December.

With all that festive feasting, how could you not?! Alcohol, cakes, indulgent meals…. yep, December is kinda notorious for that. So by the time January comes, one of the top few tasks on most peoples’ New Year’s Resolutions list would be “to lose weight”. I know it sure is on mine! I’ve lost a significant amount of weight last year, but my progress got kinda stagnant towards the end part of it… however, a new year is for revived opportunities, so say goodbye to complacency and hello PERSEVERANCE!

In case you don’t know, here’s how much weight I’ve lost:


“HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODEHHHHH!!! NOW PASS ME A BURGER OR I’LL EAT YOUR DOG.” - the old me on the left

LOL. I knowwwwwwwwwww. It’s awful. And kinda (very) scary. Trust me, when I was scrolling through my old photos trying to find the fattest full body shot of myself I could find, my jaw dropped to the floor when I saw this. Like, I always knew I was gaining weight, but I could NEVER fathom just how much. You know that quote, “You don’t know what you’ve lost until its gone?” Yeah, in my case its about the amount of fats. I’m not sure of the exact number but I think I’ve lost approximately 10-11kg since then.

To be fair, this was probably THE most unflattering picture of me ever taken…. AND the worst dress I’ve ever worn, in the worst possible angle. It’s amazingly cringe-worthy on so many levels. Not even just cringe-worthy, GASP-inducing! I was really big but I don’t think I really walked around looking like that everyday…. there are plenty of other pictures of me looking like a normal fat person (if that makes sense lol), but this one REALLY takes the cake. This one stole the whole cake and ate it by herself hahaha. I contemplated over whether I should post this picture or not, but I figured I have nothing to lose since I’m not that person any more. I am the much healthier and happier girl on the right side of the pic now! The pic in the purple dress was taken 31st December on the last day of 2012. Within 10 months, I think I made good progress and I’m proud of myself. I thought I would have binged and caved in to my old habits eventually and my weight would rebound back up again, but I’ve maintained it surprisingly well! In my old post, I mentioned that I aim to lose 7kg this year, so that is my new goal I have to work towards in 2013.

Quite a lot of people have been asking me lately, “How did you do it?” (I suppose some thought I’d never able to do it) so I decided to do a blog post with some of my own tips that helped me along the way, to provide some motivation to the people out there that truly need it. I’m not reaching out to annoying girls who are perfectly normal sized but complain that they are fat, I hope to reach out to actually overweight people who have a physical and mental condition that they want to mend. From the messages I’ve been getting, I know some of you feel helpless, but you are not. Everyone already KNOWS how to lose weight – eat less, exercise more. It’s just that simple. But what people want to hear is other straightforward baby steps that they can take so that the task seems more feasible, and not too daunting. What they want to hear is an easier solution. I can tell you this, losing weight is anything but easy, especially if you do it the good old fashioned way (excluding slimming pills, diet suppressants, detox teas, liposuction, fad diets, bulimia) but taking small steps so that your body gets accustomed to your new lifestyle change will make it much easier. I still have a considerable amount of work to do and progress to make before I’m well satisfied with my body, so I will have to refer back to this list whenever my strength happens to waiver this year…. which I pray will not happen, but I know it will some time or another, I am only human. I don’t claim to be a diet / body / health / nutritionist expert of sorts, but this list below has worked well for me, and I hope it will for you too.

Shiberty’s list of 10 ways to lose weight effectively:

1) Drink more water in between and right before meals.

Water is the healthiest and most natural diet suppressant.
• Not only does drinking enough water aid in keeping your skin clear, body hydrated and your brain functioning properly, it also results in you feeling full for longer periods of time. When I feel like snacking in between meals, I drink a lot of cold, CARBONATED water to make my cravings go away. 80% of the time, it works. 20% of the time, unforunately I succumb to my temptations. The gas and bubbles from the drink makes me burp and kind of bloated, which is a fab solution when you’re hungry although you’re not supposed to be… it tricks your body into thinking that you’re not. Also, drink half a glass of cold water before you have any meal. It WILL decrease the amount of food you will eat quite significantly. I try to drink carbonated cold water whenever I can, it works better than still water.


2) Skip supper.

Everyone knows that to lose weight, you have to eat less in general.
• Most importantly, you have to watch what you eat at night, from 7pm onwards. In the day, your metabolism rate is much higher and burns up calories faster than it would at night. The excess calories that don’t get used by the time you sleep will be stored as sugar in your body, and converted into fat cells eventually. I can’t tell you to skip dinner because that would be unhealthy, but have a light dinner made of mainly protein and vegetables, and ALWAYS skip supper when you can!!! A good way to make sure you don’t succumb to supper cravings is to sleep earlier. Wake up and have breakfast the next morning instead. People who head to bed after 1am will definitely feel kinda hungry by that time, unless they had a late dinner, which is also not good. When I feel hungry at night, I go to sleep. You can’t feel hungry (or any conscious feeling at all) when you’re asleep. If you’re too hungry to fall asleep, which happens to me some times… for gods sake, fix yourself something light to snack on then off to bed you go!

3) Weigh yourself everyday.

When I was gaining weight, I kept myself off the weighing scale for as long as possible..
• I ran far away from it whenever I saw one. I couldn’t face the truth. Not for a long time. But now, I jump on the weighing scale everyday, for a reality check. If you want to lose weight, you HAVE to face the truth – that your body is in an unhealthy state right now, and you NEED to do something about it. Look at your weight. Is it a number you’d like to see? No it is not. It sucks. It’s so damn high, what the hell happened to you? What number would look a lot better on the scale, and what dress would look really good on you if your weight actually were the number you hope for it to be? Plan a weekly target for your weight loss. Don’t get far fetched and think about how much weight you want to lose in the next half a year. Start slow, but steady. Start by losing 500g this week. 500g is really easy, you could lose 500g in a day or two if all you ate was a moderate amount of salad, fruits, protein and water. When you lose your first 500g, you’ll instantly feel a mini sense of triumph. And that sense of achievement and self-fulfillment will become addictive, as you see your weight drop more and more every day, even if its only by 200g sometimes. If you wanna get thinner, you weigh yourself everyday to monitor your progress, to make sure you’re on the right track. You don’t leave it to chance and luck and hope weight loss just happen to you. If you’re not seeing enough results, TRY HARDER. Just like how if you wanna get rich, or when you’re doing a business, you calculate your finances and sales profit all the time to keep track of your record!

4) Eat when you need and want to, but in small, controlled amounts.

When you need to eat: 
• It’s better to have 4 or 5 small meals throughout the day, than to have 1 or 2 gigantic ones. Your body breaks down the food easier and faster when it comes in moderated amounts. A sure bet to lose weight is to snack frequently on healthier options in between lunch and dinner, so you don’t end up eating too much at night. Snack on dried seaweed, cheeses, fruits, anything that doesn’t have a super high amount of carbs / sugar will do just fine. Or drink carbonated water, like I said! Most people look forward to dinner because its their biggest and most indulgent meal… That’s gonna have to change!

When you want to eat: 
• If you have a craving that lasts for hours or even days and it just won’t seem to go away, satisfy it. If you feel like ice cream, have some ice cream. Share it with a friend. Don’t order your usual 2 scoops of ice cream. Have one scoop instead. If you can bring yourself to, have only a few spoonfuls, enough to satisfy your craving and keep yourself sane. Sustainable dieting is so important. Most of the time, people give up their diets halfway because it drove them insane. They felt like they couldn’t eat anything at all. So I’m taking a different approach and telling you, EAT if you really feel like you want to. But always learn how to moderate. If I’m dying for pasta, (one of my favorite foods) I will have pasta for lunch, in a small portion much lesser than what I’d normally have if I let myself indulge. Then I’ll opt for a low-carb meal for dinner to make up for my high intake of carbohydrates in the afternoon. This way, you’ll find its much easier to adhere to your diet for prolonged periods of time.

5) Don’t over order when you’re dining out in restaurants. 

Don’t bite off more than you can chew.
• When you look at the menu in a restaurant, you wanna order literally EVERYTHING. You let your gluttony get the better of you, and you end up ordering more than you can eat. Damn it! Over-ordered again. But the food is already in front of you, on the table….. You’re gonna have to pay for that anyway……..  Mama always taught you not to waste food. Gah, you hate seeing perfectly good and yummy food being thrown away. Hate wasting food, hate wasting food. Must finish everything. So you reach out into the table, and you keep putting food into your mouth, even when you should have and could have stopped 300 calories ago. You’re not eating because you’re still hungry, you’re eating just because the food is there. It’s in front of you. A natural reaction. If this scenario sounds like you, then you’re JUST like me. Stop doing that.

• Don’t order your starter, main course and dessert all at the start of the meal. Order a main course first, then think about whether you’re hungry enough to have a side dish. If you are, why not share it with your dining partner? Don’t even think about dessert until you’re done with all the savory food. Think ya got space in your tummy? Drink half a glass of water. If you still insist on dessert after all of that – fine, go ahead. But chances are, you won’t.  When you think you’ve had quite enough but afraid you may reach out for more, proclaim loudly, “I’m really full now.” I do that when I’m with a group of friends and it prevents me from eating more coz if I do I’d look really stupid, and a liar. LOL. Or, simply ask the waiter to clear your table. Voila. The food isn’t in your face any more, so you don’t have to think about whether you should continue eating. Problem solved.

6) Stop eating when you feel adequately satiated, not when you feel full or bloated.

Your stomach is like a muscle you can train.
• If you persistently have smaller meals, your stomach will naturally shrink as well, and it won’t need as much food to become full. The first time you cut down on your usual amount of intake, you’ll feel slightly unsatisfied or reluctant, but you’ll get used to it very quickly. You’ll feel the results of this theory in a mere week, try it. It does’t have to be a drastic difference. If you love rice, and are used to having it all the time for dinner, then instead of a whole bowl, reduce it to 3/4 bowl. After a week or two, reduce it to half a bowl. It will make a world of difference in time to come.

• Some people don’t know when to stop eating. (*raises hands* I am one of them!) They gorge themselves until they’re crazily bloated. You should actually stop eating when you feel adequately SATIATED. What does adequately satiated mean? When your tummy isn’t growling any more. When you feel like you’ve got enough in your stomach to keep you going for at least another hour or two, not the whole damn day. When hunger isn’t an issue, and when you can go back to functioning normally. Stop eating at that point. You don’t need to be FULL all the time. Eating till you’re full isn’t satisfying your body’s needs, it is satisfying your own endless greed. 

7) Pick up a friendly or competitive sport with a friend.

Hate going running, or to the gym? 
• Me too. The weather is wayyy too hot and humid outside to go running, and the gym is just…. well, boring. Sounds like excuses? They probably are. So rid yourself of excuses and pick up a totally fun sport with a friend! You’ll end up doing it for the fun factor, rather than exercising, which becomes a byproduct. I some times play table tennis with the boyfriend, and badminton with friends, and burn more calories than I notice. Other fun activities such as swimming works great as well – as long as you’re moving and using energy, you’re burning up calories. Exercise becomes a lot more bearable when you have a friend to motivate you – I prefer competitive sports so that I have a reason to perform even better and try harder each time we play! Find a spontaneous and reliable friend who’s willing to commit to a new activity with you. It’s important you find someone you can rely on to always show up, because if your friend / work out partner starts getting lazy, chances are you will get affected as well. Yoga? Soccer? Pilates? Tennis? Whatever you fancy. Just find something, and do it. Anything but sitting on your ass.

8) Lower your carbohydrates intake.

“Is butter a carb?” – Regina George, Mean Girls.
• No, butter isn’t a carb, Regina. Butter = fat. Technically, eating foods high in fat (oily friend chicken, fatty char siew) doesn’t make you as fat as eating carbohydrates does. If you made Person A eat KFC everyday, and Person B eat Pasta Mania everyday, Person B will most likely put on more weight than Person A because of their high amount of carbohydrates intake from the pasta. The biggest factor of my weight loss is definitely going on a low-carbohydrate diet. Low carb doesn’t mean NO carb, it just means I’ve reduced my carb intake significantly while still consuming enough to keep my body running normally. It is imperative that a person who wants to lose weight efficiently understands what carbohydrates do to your body. So let’s have a little science lesson.

What ARE carbs? Main sources of carbohydrates include noodles, rice, pasta, bread, potatoes, sweet potatoes, any starchy or sugary food. Sugar = also carbs. So that means an innocent looking piece of fruit or vegetable has a certain amount of carbs as well, for it is naturally sweet. Let’s use an apple as an example. But that doesn’t mean that eating an apple will make you fat –  there are good carbs, and bad carbs.

Good Carbs AKA Complex Carbs
• We can reap the health benefits of good carbs by choosing carbohydrates full of fiber. These carbs that get absorbed slowly into our systems, avoiding spikes in blood sugar levels. Examples: whole grains, vegetables, fruits, and beans.

Bad Carbs AKA Processed Carbs
• We can minimize the health risk of bad carbs by eating fewer refined and processed carbohydrates that strip away beneficial fiber. Examples: white bread and white rice.

Carbohydrate Addiction
• The consumption of carbohydrates can actually cause an addiction for many people, because of the serotonin release they induce. Serotonin is a brain chemical that improves the mood and induces a relaxing effect by decreasing stress and anxiety as well as reducing pain. People with low serotonin levels may therefore reach for more and more carbohydrates in an attempt to feel better, which can eventually lead to weight gain.

Fat Storage
• After eating carbohydrates, the pancreas responds by producing insulin, which is mainly responsible for regulating blood sugar levels by letting the carbohydrates, broken down into sugar, enter the cells of the liver and muscles to be used for energy. However, insulin also has the role of regulating fat storage. High levels of circulating insulin, which are associated with the consumption of carbohydrates, help with the storage of carbohydrates and excess calories not required for immediate use as fat. In other words, carbohydrates promote the release of insulin, which in turn promotes fat storage.

(Source 1, Source 2.)

These days, I don’t even have to exercise excessively or starve myself to lose weight – I just have to lower my carbs intake, and I usually see weight loss results within days. I’ve lost as much as 2 kilos in a week simply by reducing processed carbs, and eating more protein, fat + complex carbs such as fruits and vegetables. Coupled with increased exercising, the results can be quite drastic. Like an 11kg sort of drastic-ally wonderful. Losing weight isn’t the difficult part, it’s MAINTAINING the weight that is the biggest hurdle. After losing some, you’ll gain some back… but your aim is to keep most of it off!

9) Always wear nice clothes that actually fit you.

Why? I’ll tell you why.

The Clothes Know Best
• The easiest, idiot proof way to tell if you’ve gained weight is trying to squeeze into a pair of jeans, or a dress that would normally fit you just fine. You don’t even have to voluntarily step onto a weighing scale to find out – your clothes will instantly tell you. Now, if you’re the type who likes to wear baggy, loose-fitting stuff all the time, your weight gain may not be immediately obvious. And it doesn’t feel good when your clothes that used to fit, don’t any more. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll do something about it.

Baggage Allowance
• When I was a UK Size 14, some times I’d buy a dress that was UK Size 16 just in case I got even fatter. It was almost as if I was prepping myself for future weight gain. These days, I swear by all UK size 10 dresses, even if some times they’re a little tight around my hips or chest. On several occasions I wore dresses so tight fitting, I could barely breathe in them. BUT I’M NOT GOING TO BUY A GOD DAMN SIZE UP ANY MORE. Doing so is pretty much giving myself the OK to become fatter again. I will not accept this behavior from myself. What I wanna do, is downsize even more. If my dress is tight, I’m going to lose enough weight so that it fits perfectly, and hopefully one day it will be loose, like all my other now-redundant UK size 12s, 14s, and 16s!!! I have quite a lot of clothes that don’t fit me at all any more, mainly ranging from UK 14 to 16s. I know how hard it is to find nice clothes when you’re  of a certain size, so if you’re interested in buying my pretty clothes off me (all in perfect condition), drop me a mail at Shiberty@hotmail.com.

Wear Nice Clothes To Feel Good About Yourself
• There was a period of time I recycled the same old boring, ugly clothes over and over again, because those would be all that’d fit me. Fashion didn’t even matter to me, and I just let myself go. No make up, hair was shit, fashion sense was also shit… It was severely depressing. Even if you’re a big girl, you deserve to indulge in fashion! Pamper yourself and wear nice clothing. It will inspire you to shed some pounds so that you may look even better in future outfits. Completely letting yourself go and not caring how you end up looking or feeling like, is the worst possible thing you could do for yourself. Don’t let yourself go, don’t lose hope. I know its inevitable that you lose some self-confidence when you gain weight, which is why you need to regain your self-love back. Most girls don’t bother to lose weight because they don’t BELIEVE that they are worth the change, or that they CAN do it. Losing weight is 60% mindset and willpower, 25% dieting, 15% exercise.

10) Celebrate every victory!

…No matter how small.
• Keeping your morale up is vital for weight loss. Always think positive, and give yourself rewards for seemingly little achievements. You didn’t have supper last night? GOOD FOR YOU. You had grilled fish instead of pasta? Splendid. Buy yourself a little gift (a healthy cookbook?). Tell your boyfriend, girlfriend, mom, dad, sister, brother or friend about it. Get them to support you. You won’t survive this journey on your own. Don’t beat yourself up over little mistakes, such as failing to resist your favorite dessert after dinner time. That’s okay. Just exercise tomorrow to burn the calories off. Don’t blame yourself if you’re not straight away seeing the results you were hoping for. It will not be easy, it will not be quick, but it will be completely worth every single tear and sweat drop that came out of this. By the end of it all, you’ll see that I was right. Like I’ve said before, you didn’t put on all that weight in one day, so don’t expect only a day to burn it off. …But it’s always better to be sore the next day, than sorry.

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Aside from all that I’ve mentioned above, of course I have to highlight that I was extremely fortunate enough to have undergone acupuncture weight management treatment with Eu Yan Sang and be their featured blogger, which gave me the push I desperately needed! Read about my weight loss journey with EYS here: Post 1, Post 2, Post 3. Oh, and if you have a friend whom you know that is struggling with weight issues or someone who needs some encouragement and inspiration – do me a favor, & help me share this post with them!

Always remember: Your body is constantly a work in progress.

No slim or trim figure lasts forever unless you bother to maintain it. And no overweight or obese person will be fat or thick forever either, unless you continue stuffing your face and gorging your body with unhealthy food day after day. I’m on the same path, just like you. We are all in this together. I hope by the end of 2013, I can look back on my current pictures and say “Look how much smaller my arms / thighs have gotten!”. TODAY is always the right day to start making a change. If you don’t do it in 2013, when will it ever happen? A year from now, when you look back, you’ll wish you’d started a year ago. Take it from a person who once proclaimed to the world that she loved food more than herself. I still love food to the heavens, hell and back. And I’m really fucking lazy when it comes to physical activities to boot. You can do it if you want to. But only if you really, REALLY want it badly enough. So ask yourself…. do you, now?

Hear this, and repeat after me: I’M DOING THIS FOR ME.

Not because some assholes are calling me mean names. Not because I’m being pressured into it. I’m doing this out of my own good sense and will because I’ve finally had enough of my own lame excuses. Because I need to start loving myself properly again. Because I deserve to be healthy, and happy.


Good luck!!!!!!!! 

xoxo,
Jess

xoxo,
Jess

If you want to do something, do it.

Hello, 2013!!!

I spent the last day of 2012 with my family having lunch in the afternoon, then shopped around with my mum in the early evening before spending the night counting down with friends by partying and clubbing. And by partying and clubbing I actually mean playing board games, ordering in room service and lazing on hotel beds, but that’s totally cool with me. At least we got a pretty nifty view of the fireworks from Marina Bay Sands. I pretty much spend every special occasion here now…. it’s become a no-brainer kinda place to go when you need to be somewhere, anywhere but home.

It was my idea of a simple, but perfect day.

When I woke up on the first day of 2013, I looked around and told myself… everything doesn’t seem any different at all. It could jolly well be 2012 again, if not for the fact I celebrated the beginning of a new year last night. Everything and everyone looks the same…. got new year, meh? *cue Singaporean accent*

..That’s when it hit me, and I realized – it won’t matter if its a brand new year of life, unless you change your mentality about things and strive to improve yourself. It won’t BE any different, if you don’t set out with change in your mind, and determination in your heart. A change in date won’t bring about miracles to your life. You have to actively pursue improvement, heck, even perfection…. and if you want something you’ve never had, you’re gonna have to do something that you’ve never done before. Opportunities don’t come knocking on your door. You have to hunt the fucker down, follow him home then burst through HIS door, demanding to be noticed. And when you’re finally noticed, please, don’t get complacent. I think one of my biggest flaws is having a short attention span. I feel like I want something, I go out and do it, and when I’m sorta pretty good at it, I just stop completely. Before I ever reach “excellent”, I stop dead in my tracks at good.  I move on to my next target, only to find just being good doesn’t cut it in this world – and ultimately, everything was a waste of time because it amounted to nothing in the end. How I see it: You’re either great, or you’re NOTHING at all. This year is going to change that. I’m going to be FUCKING TERRIFIC at everything I want to be great at, and god forbid if I let 2013 become another year of “what ifs” and “if only”… then shame on me.

Here are some things I’m going to accomplish in 2013, aka my list of New Year’s Resolutions, in no particular order or importance (yeah right):

1) Make more money than I did last year.

I took a long break with my business because of some personal implications late last year. I’ve stopped baking for other people for so long, I’m almost afraid I’ve forgotten how to make pretty cakes. I hope I’m still good at it. Who am I kidding? I’m fantastic, lol. This year, I wanna take business to new heights. Whether its opening a physical shop front or supplying to cafes or just expanding my online business even larger. I’m going to be efficient when it comes to replying emails. I will try my best to reply rude people nicely, even if I want to punch them in the face. I will invent new yummy flavors, and I will keep people coming back for more. I will try my very best to never disappoint any customer or mess up their order, and I hope each and every one of them will eat my cakes with a big smile on their face. I am going to have a new website for my cakes, because the current one is god awful.

When it comes to blogging, I’m going to churn out great write ups for my sponsors and clients. I’m going to try my very best not to be late when submitting my drafts (the lord knows how guilty I am of this, I’m perpetually late for everything) and I will try to blog more often, even if it means shorter but frequent posts! I will try to not have super backdated posts, anything older than one and a half month is unacceptable. (notice how I say “try” for resolutions I’m not 100% confident I will achieve, lol) Hopefully, I’ll get a new blog layout too, it is time for a refreshing change!

2) Save some money from the money that I make.

I’m not bad at making money, actually. What I’m absolutely terrible at is SAVING the moolah that I make. I’m a true blue shopaholic. I can spend over $100 at Daiso, even when I only walked in intending to buy a single $2 item. When I go on shopping sprees, I some times spend close to a thousand on random stuff a day, and frankly speaking, I don’t make enough to support that sort of spending especially when its on things that I don’t NEED. I have this mentality of living each day like it was your last…. but unfortunately the idea doesn’t gel so well with bank accounts. Hopefully, I can set aside at least $500 of savings each month. That most likely doesn’t sound like a lot to most people, especially the sensible and responsible ones who do save up, but golly, I’d be darn impressed with myself I manage to save at least $300 a month. Hahah.

3) Lose another 7kg of fats.

You know, ideally, I would like to lose an additional 10kg on top of the 11kg ish I lost in 2012.. but I will be very happy with 7kg of progress. I have a whole year to lose that 7kg, which equates to about 500 grams per month. I could totally do that. I could easily lose half a kilo in a week if I wanted to! I just have to REMEMBER that I need to be on a diet (and exercise more frequently). Too often I just forget about dieting and being healthy and I just pig out or create excuses for myself…. I’m a happy UK size 10 right now, and even though I’m pretty confident of the way I look and generally am happy with my aesthetics, I still have flabby thick arms, thunder thighs, pudgy tummy and what not that could use a little (or a lot haha) of work. Now that I don’t have eu yan sang’s acupuncture treatment to give me the push, it will probably be more difficult…. but it’s still something I HAVE to do for myself.

4) Be more punctual.

I’m always god damn late, god damn it. It’s a habit I’ve had since I was a kid in school – late for school, late when it came to doing homework, late when I had to go back to the classroom after recess…. I struggle to grasp the concept of time. Some times it goes by so slow, some times it’s so fast. I need to be punctual with my appointments more often!!!! Because of my tardiness, I end up splurging on cabs when I could’ve taken the MRT when it takes the same amount of time to get there, but costs so much more. You can do this Jessica, it’s not that hard. Stop oversleeping late into the afternoon and taking too long to choose your outfits before you go out. I will plan my outfits the night before, so I don’t spend an hour ransacking my wardrobe, turning it into a warzone.

5) Maintain good relationships with the people I care about.

2012 was a pretty good year for my friendships and relationships. I made new friends I’m fortunate to have met, reconnected with a few older ones I’m glad to still keep and I found out who my real friends were, and who were the ones I didn’t need in my life. I shared a lot of laughs with people I didn’t expect to, which was great. I almost never argued with my mother or got into big arguments, I tried to be as civil as possible when it came to my father and hey, I’m still attached to my boyfriend of over 3 years. That has to count for something, right? I swear to always be there for the people who need me, and that I will put more effort into being a better person they can be proud of.  And I will try to love them for who they are as well, flaws, smelly breath and all. Also I will try to not use my phone to Twitter, Instagram and Facebook so much when I’m having social gatherings with people. Disconnect to connect. *chants 100 times…*

6) Floss my teeth more often.

Generally, I have very good hygiene. I don’t have dandruff or oily hair, I always smell pretty good even without perfume, I wash my hands after I pee…. but I’m embarrassed to say that my oral hygiene is something that needs help. I’m laughing that flossing my teeth is on my New Year’s Resolution list, along with making more money and losing weight. But yeah. There isn’t a whole lot of things I feel like I really need to improve on, except dental hygiene is definitely one of them. I’m going to floss my teeth after I finish typing this post. (*edit: I actually went to shower and floss my teeth halfway through the post. Now I have lickable clean teeth. Go, me.)

7) Keep my room nice to live in, and organized.

I’m a pack rat. I have 11 penguins in it, for goodness sake. It’s probably not THAT messy compared to some other girls’ rooms (I have witnessed horrible situations) but its messy enough to be kinda frustrating sometimes. I read a study once where it said living in a messy, unorganized or dirty room makes your life more unproductive. I think there’s some truth to this study!

8) Record more Youtube covers.

Uh-huh. So I finally plucked up the courage in October last year and I did one here

But I haven’t done any after that…. I know I can say I’m busy but I know its a lousy excuse. If you REALLY wanna get something done, you’ll get it done. I guess I became distracted. Honestly, the hardest thing was finding people to collaborate with coz I feel kinda awkward (and not so confident) doing it all by myself. It takes quite a lot of nerve. But I’m already in the midst of discussing a new cover with this really talented awwsuummm person…. so crossing my fingers we get together and record soon!!!!! I’m trying to juggle too many things at once, aren’t I? I can’t wait to show you guys what else I can come up with! I hope I can get one done by February. And yes these things take longer, and more effort than it seems….
If there are any musically inclined singers or instrument extraordinaire or videographers or anybody who would be interested in collaborating with me for a Youtube cover, drop me a mail at Shiberty@hotmail.com!

9) Get out of the country to see the rest of the world… at least three times.

I don’t think I’m asking for too much… or am I? Some people don’t travel at all, while others do it like every month. My mum happens to be one of those people. Envy!!! I want a relaxation trip, a shopping trip and a sightseeing trip. I totally wouldn’t mind going back to Australia again, I LOVE that place… there’s an endless amount of things to see & do there. Or if I’m really lucky I’ll get to go to a whole new country I’ve never been to before! Maybe Korea, Japan, Philippines, Europe, Hong Kong…. Anything but Malaysia or Indonesia again, please? LOL. Really bored of neighboring countries. Unless I’m going to Penang for the food or Bali for the shopping then I don’t mind. And, if anyone noticed, everything I’ve said in the paragraph above totally clashes with resolution number 2, Saving Money. Sigh. #firstworldproblems

10) I’ll keep number 10 open-ended for now.

I am actually rather worried that I don’t seem to have a lot of immediate goals in my sight. OMG am I an under-achiever??? Why doesn’t any of my resolutions include a cure for cancer? Why don’t I have bigger and wilder aspirations to share with you guys? This year I turn 21 and there’s no more excuses left for me. DISGUSTING. Me, 21 years old, officially an adult by law. I can’t pretend to be young and stupid and get away with things like lazing around any more. People will EXPECT me to be an adult and to be successful. What happened to 2012? It just went by like that. Scratch that, what the hell happened to my life from 16-20?

The older you get, the faster time passes. It really is scary. Now I know what all the old people mean by “in the blink of an eye”.

xoxo,
Jess

xoxo,
Jess
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