Living Alone

I miss living on my own.

I don’t actually like being all alone, but I do enjoy quiet time with myself very much. As equally as I relish spending quality time with the people I care about.

The thing is..

I’ve been with Sam EVERY SINGLE DAY since November 2010, that’s coming to 5 months now – and frankly it’s driving me a little insane. It’s not that I have grown sick of him, it’s just that, I reallyyyyyyyyy miss being on my own. I miss being able to be me. In fact I miss me so much that I’m afraid I might lose that part of me if I live with him long enough.

Am I crazy to say that sometimes I feel like I am my own best friend? When I’m alone, I have little conversations with myself inside my head. It’s like I am free to do and say anything I want, because nobody is watching or judging me.

Solitude is almost enjoyable when you can keep yourself self-entertained as I do.

We all know quality time with your loved ones is important, but has no one ever noticed how important quality time for YOURSELF is, too? Self-reflection – something that hasn’t been happening enough for me recently.

So single people, rejoice because you get to experience these things that I don’t get to anymore:

#1) I miss not sharing my bed with anyone.


Godaaammmittt!

Can there be ONE night that I don’t have to stick to one side of the bed??

I WANT TO ROLL AROUND on BOTH sides AND ENJOY THE SPACIOUSNESS!

I want to lay sprawled out on the bed with my arms and legs fully spread out. I want to have ONE night that I don’t need wake up at 3am to search for my bolster because my boyfriend has stolen it from my grasp while I was asleep.

I want allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the blanket to myself, and I hate having Tug-O-Wars with my blanket with him!!

IT’S MY BLANKIE. T______T



MINE.

I know I sound so childish but what the bejeezus is the point of having an extra large queen sized bed if you’re gonna have to share it with someone else who happens to take up 3/4 of the space anyway?? My bf is the sort who steals blankets from people and takes up half of the bed while still saying

“No space, move over!!”


#2) I miss farting and burping whenever I like.
In my own room of course.

Bitch pleaaaaase.

There’s nothing like having to hold in your own farts in your own room. Where the fuck is the comfort of home, you tell me?!? If I cannot fart in my own house, WHERE in the world can I let it rip in peace?

I know I CAN fart and burp in front of my boyfriend, but I don’t wanna gross him out too much and too often now, do I? He does it in front of me sometimes and it really grosses me out because they fucking stink (yes, let’s admit it kids, farts stink) so I tryyy not to do it to him as much as possible.

Sometimes I burp in his face just for fun, then giggle about it and think I’m cute (I know it’s totally not cute) but that is a completely different story.

I’m now talking about the kind of farts that sounds like an elephant is having an orgasm in your asshole. Like an angry male lion that just found out he got cheated on by his lioness wife.

The kind of farts the rest of humankind should never have to hear.


#3) I miss waking up at my own timing.

Because if he wakes up, I get woken up too. I’m not a heavy sleeper, so the slightest movement will jolt me awake instantly. Gone are the days when I can just drift off to sleep peacefully (refer to point 1) and then wake up according to whenever my body feels like getting up.

NO. I’m thrown back into reality oh so suddenly even when my soul is still floating in dream land, because my bf got up at 7am to take a piss. I was dreaming of riding killer whales and being a supermodel too.

Well thanks a lot… not!!!

Stop ruining my perfectly good dreams!!!

It also seems that whenever I have good dreams, he wakes me up but when I have nightmares, I get undisturbed sleep. Because the world works in mysterious ways.

Oh oh oh which brings me to point 4.


#4) I also miss going to sleep at my own timings.

“Can you turn off the lights??”

“What? It’s only 3am!”

“…ONLY 3am?! Wtf are you talking about? I’m dead sleepy already!”

“But I’m not sleepy at all!”

“Why are you so inconsiderate?”

“Why are you so annoying???”

-___-”


#5) I miss playing my own music and singing Youtube karaoke until my lungs give up into the wee hours of the morning.

I love music. I cannot live without music.

Sam unfortunately has very weird taste in music. He only thinks certain songs are nice, and pretty much hates the rest of the songs he’s never been exposed to – he’s very narrow-minded that way. I, on the other hand, listen to a WIDE, wide range of songs. I don’t care about the genre, if it is a good song, then it’s a good song. (unless it’s a house / techno song then it is a shitty song)

I like anything from Beethoven Classical to Booty Shakin’ Black Rap to Bubble Gum Pop Katy Perry to Alternative bands like Weezer.

So half of the time, when I play music, he goes like, “Can you turn that shit off?”

Fuck my life!!!!!!!!!

Listening to the music you like is one of god’s given rights to humans!!!! One of my FAVOURITE things to do at home is singing in the shower

(“Why do you sing in the shower?”)

and singing Youtube karaoke from 12am to 4am

(“Why do you sing so late at night?”)

Now I cannot do any of that. :(

In fact, I’m blasting music and it’s 3am now and he got so pissed off that he went to sleep outside on the couch. WTF. I want to feel bad for him and be understanding, but I can’t. It feels soooo good to feel like this is MY room once again. I especially miss listening to Justin Bieber and songs with deep basses because apparently both of these things hurt his ears. A lot.

Whatever.

Guess which one of my favourite songs I’m belting out at the moment?? :D :D :D


ALLLLLLLLLL BY MYSELFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

I wanna beeee… all by myself sometimes!

Eric Carmen, Y U NO appreciate your solitude? How else you think your singing got so good right??? Because you were All By Yourself and no idiot keeps telling you to STFU when you practice singing! DUH!


#5) I miss wearing granny underwear.

……And not getting judged for it.

So when you go to your boyfriend’s house or when you go on important dates, you wear sexy lingerie. At home, you wear underwear that looks like your Nanny picked it out for you.

ADMIT IT! If you wear sexy underwear even at home you must be a slut!!!!

Always invite guys over to have mass orgy right?

Anyway.

Stupid movies always portray actresses looking like goddesses going to sleep in amazingly exquisite pajamas from Victoria’s Secret
(are you kidding me? my PJs are all torn and tattered)

Like this:


YA FUCKING RIGHT.

Well it’s not totally impossible but like I said, unless you are a slut who’s waiting to get fucked every night you don’t sleep in something like that.

Sexually appealing night gowns us humans can still achieve by buying in stores, what’s reaalllyyy incredulous is when they show women in movies miraculously WAKING UP LOOKING LIKE THIS:


Sorry, not ever happening pumpkin!!!

Pretty sure more than half of us wake up looking like ogres / trolls. #truestoryimmarealwoman

Something about being women makes us deteriorate overnight. I think it’s safe to say we look a helluva lot better when we’re going to sleep instead of when we’ve just woken up and looking like Courtney Love getting wasted.


I KNOW
that every one of you actually wake up looking kinda like…


That.

N’aw, don’t worry.. Not that there’s actually anything wrong with it, sorta cute and human-like actually.

Yeah let’s face it, the world ain’t pretty and full of sparkles and rainbows. It’s full of disheveled hair and crap in your eyes and bad breath in the morning and clogged up noses and bloated faces and croaky voices.

Which also reminds me…

#6) I miss not waking up to bad breath.

Imagine this:

Boyfriend wakes up in the morning, turns over to you, kisses you on the forehead going “Good Morning Beautiful” and his lips turn upwards into a slight smile.

And you’re lying there, still groggy from the sleep and ALMOST in the romantic mood if not for the fact that his…………. breath……. bloody……

*reeks*

Reeks of last night’s dinner of pork chops you guys had!!! To think you thought cooking for him was a good idea. You now pay the price for being a fabulous girlfriend.

As he expects a favourable reply, you turn over to him, try your hardest not to gag or choke while breathing in his bad breath and also reply, “Good morning baby” in equally awful breath. I can’t think of a more unromantic way to start the day.

My conclusion? Mornings are never pretty. It has never been more evident since I’ve started living in with a partner.

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Ok, I think I’m going to jump at this opportunity. Since Sam is sleeping outside on the couch now, I’m going to happily flop onto my bed all by myself!!!


JOY!!!!!

I know this doesn’t sound like the usual me but dangggggggg if you have ever lived with someone for this long, you’d know exactly what I’m going through.

…FREEDOM, Y U NO EXIST?

xoxo,
Jess

xoxo,
Jess

Ganbatte! Japan


Ganbatte! Japan
is a pro bono charity flea organized by Nuffnang and Park Royal hotel to raise funds in aid of Japan’s recent natural disasters.

I’ll be the first to admit that I didn’t make an effort to donate a single cent before this. What? I’m not exactly a pro active person. I definitely donate when I see a needy person asking for money on the streets, but do I jump onto my paypal account to shower money on victims every time something bad happens to someone else?

No. And I felt kinda bad for it.

What’s the point of looking at the horrible pics of their tsunami’s aftermath and sob at my computer screen feeling sorry for them, when sympathy doesn’t fix houses or give people new homes?

So I thought to myself.. Don’t be one of those hypocritical pricks who keep tweeting / blogging stuff like #prayforjapan when they can’t even be bothered to do jack shit for them. To a person in need of financial aid, a 20 cent coin is worth far, far more than your “thoughts at night before you go to bed”.

What are prayers for? If prayers worked, their existence would be much more efficient if they worked BEFORE disasters happen, instead of after.

So for a change I wanted to do something that wasn’t all about myself, I wanted to contribute to a cause that is more than worth my time and efforts.

These were the lovely cupcakes from Shiberty’s Sweets that we brought to sell at the flea!

(2 boxes in total)

Vanilla buttercream with chocolate / butter cake and Chocolate buttercream with Chocolate cake!

Most common question of the day: “You made these yourself?!?!?”

We sure did!!

The place had rather poor lighting and I didn’t feel like flash photos that day so bear with my non-sharp piccys this post!

Sam got up at 7am to go out and buy the groceries for the cupcakes, then started baking them and then I got up at 10am to decorate the bulk of the cupcakes. If you ever wondered how we split the work..

You can say I’m the head of the design department and he’s the head of cold hard labour :P

Within minutes of entering the venue, we got our first customer!!!

After the first one came, the rest just kept on coming non-stop.

I felt bad for being an hour late for the event (we were late coz we had to make these cupcakes in the morning right before the event, I wanted them to be as fresh as possible) but felt a lot better when they were selling so quick because that means our job would be done in a jiffy!

Here’s Sam packing the cupcakes into little boxes – thank goodness he remembered to bring boxes because I totally forgot about packaging.

I was under the impression that people were just going to buy 1 each to nomz on but most of them actually bought at least 3 each to bring back for their friends and family!

You see that girl with long brown hair in the middle? She’s my primary school classmate whom I haven’t seen since I was like ELEVEN years old!!!

When I saw her I was like “OMG HI! Are you Linda?”

I still remember her name and everything! So good to see your childhood friends after a gazillion years :)

Thanks sooo much to everyone who came down and supported Sam and I, we super duper appreciated it!!

♥ Thousand hugs and kisses

Weeee!!! I think she came back and bought even more afterwards :D

Must’ve really liked them. This was the first time I’ve actually gotten feedback from customers since normally for online orders, they just come pick up their orders when they’re done and go bye-bye immediately afterwards.

This time around I got to see their reaction first-hand and I’m superrr pleased because the compliments and good reviews were overwhelming.

My regal looking name

Me being an over enthusiastic sales person. :P

People were so friendly and obliging to take a lot of photos with us that day!!!!

Taking a picture of someone taking a picture of my cupcake.

I iz artistic.

I tweeted about our success at the flea market and a friend replied saying

“Your sellout was made possible – I’m sure – in part to that amazing sign you created from notebook paper.”


LOL

Giving Ben Ben a hug!!! I adore this kiddo he is always so friendly and smiling :)

He sold hugs that day and raised quite a decent amount, only somebody as cute looking as him can sell hugs and get away with it la!!

Pretty Clara, a Nuffnang staff with someone’s super cute baby boy. SOOOOOOO CUTE :3

Sam saw me change my “sign” at the booth and went “awwww”

Altogether now….

AWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

I am proud of the both of us for many reasons.

Even though we’ve been crazy busy with a lot of orders, we haven’t slacked one bit. I didn’t think it would take off so fast but it is a pleasant surprise. And it’s not just about selling cakes. Through selling cakes, I’ve made new friends, got back in touch with old ones, got presented with new opportunities

(a website designer actually ordered cupcakes from me and is now offering to do up a professional layout for my blog for free wtf talk about good opportunities.)

Say, I’m even participating in charity events, something I hardly ever bother to do when I could be giving so much more. I think the last volunteer event I did was visiting an orphanage and playing with the kids there to make them happy like years ago.

Now, if things go well, I might be helping another friend out to educate / inspire less fortunate kids by teaching them how to decorate cupcakes and other skills!

Sounds like it’s going to be so much fun :)

Opposite us was Qiu Qiu and Sophie doing manicures. Other bloggers were scattered across the room, some had very interesting booths like offering makeovers and a mini photoshoot!


HAHAHA this guy was hilarious!!!

So they bought some cupcakes, then they stood around munching them and when he took his first bite, he went “MMmMMmmMMmmm!!!!” sooo loudly I couldn’t stop laughing and rushed to take his picture because his reaction was priceless!

I asked him, “Is it THAT good?” and he was like “YEAH!!! It’s damnnnn nice” (

or something along to that effect, super enthusiastic one)


Cute max!

You got caught noooooommminggg!

Our youngest customer!! :P

We ran out of boxes so Sam had to run to the mall opposite the hotel (I think it’s called City Square??) and buy plastic containers to pack the cupcakes in :3

We decorated the cupcakes so nicely but he bought the 4 cupcakes, put them into a plastic bag and started swinging it around on his hand when he walked off. Sam and I were like NOOOO!

Heart pain lol they’d be all smooshy.

I spy with my little eye… Sophie eating a cupcake.

And what do you know?!?

After an hour or so, we’re all sold out!!! Woopiee!

At first I was kinda scared that we wouldn’t be able to sell most of our cupcakes then at the end of the day we’d have to force it down our throats at night or give them to our neighbours again LOL but it’s all good.

Candid pic of me counting the money, secretly wishing I could pocket it. What??? I’m only human!

Greed does not evade me!

Flamboyant enough???

In case you were wondering, we had to accept payment via vouchers purchased at the flea market itself, so that’s why the “money” I’m holding in my hand looks like monopoly money. But it’s dollar for dollar so technically it’s the same thing.

After we sold all our cupcakes we got a little bored so we went exploring and disturbing other people…

Sam found this little podium and started to mimic Obama giving a speech -___-

And then he felt really lonely so he went to give Ben a super big bear hug, much to Ben’s greatest pleasure I am sure!!!

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After the event ended, we packed up, and headed downstairs for dinner courtesy of Park Royal hotel with the rest of the Nuffies and bloggers!!

You shoulda seen me and Sam’s face. We were like….

“free buffet dinner??!!?!

O___O ……. ……. ……. ^_______^!!!!!

The buffet dinner TOTALLY exceeded expectations!!

My fav dish was the asparagus wrapped with smoked salmon and drenched in wasabi mayo + ebiko sauce. (Y)

There wasn’t a lot of people so I was thankful for the non existence of crowds. I am really annoyed by the large crowds at MBS buffet.

The buffet at Park Royal puts Marina Bay Sands’ one to deep DEEEEEP shame. It was almost HALF the price of MBS but literally twice as good.

They had free flow of fresh sashimi – not the already cut pieces sitting on a cold plate, they had a japanese chef standing at a counter ready to slice some fresh pieces for you!!!!

Crabs, assorted prawns, whole scallops baked with cheese (YUMMY!!!), indian food, western food, chinese food, ALL SORTS OF FOOD!! Definitely coming back here with Sam if we feel like buffet next time. I heard the price was 40+ for dinner.

You cannot tell from the pic but he was actually excited off his nuts.

He said, “Ok baby, you go home by yourself later, I’m going to stay here until this place closes” LOL

“Oi!!!!! Why are you still taking pics?! Let me eat in peace damnit!”

…..And that was the end of that. :P

Long funny conversations and catch ups with awesome people over a complimentary dinner = amazing time.

The event was so much fun, especially since I haven’t been to a social event in like, forever? It’s always been me and Sam, Sam and me… it’s really good to meet other people once in awhile. I should totally do this more often.

I had such a good day, and didn’t feel like I was “working” at all.

Huge thanks to everyone for being such good company (especially the hardworking Nuffies!) who made the event a success, and allowing me the chance to take part in a good cause!!!!


I ♥ Nuffnang muchie muchie.

xoxo,
Jess

xoxo,
Jess

Sam, Jess and Shiberty’s Sweets @ Charity Flea for Japan!

Join Nuffnang, your favourite bloggers and Park Royal on Kitchener Road as we launch Ganbatte! Japan, a charity flea market that helps to raise funds for Japan’s natural disaster victims.

Nuffnang staff, bloggers and blogshop owners from Jipaban will be proud stall-owners at the flea, where all profits will be donated to Singapore Red Cross for relief efforts in Japan.

Date: 9th April 2011 (Saturday)
Time: 2 PM to 5 PM
Venue: PARKROYAL on Kitchener Road, Emerald Ballroom 1 & 2

Why am I telling all of you this??

Because.. I WILL BE THERE OF COURSE. Together with Sam my minion, erm.. sidekick, I mean, boyfriend.

We will be setting up a booth there to sell our very own home made cupcakes from Shiberty’s Sweets in the name of GOODWILL!

You know what that means? That means DITCH your diet and your friends and your plans for Saturday and come join us at Park Royal Hotel. The calories and money will be for a great cause. *nods*

It is 9pm at the moment and I have a lot more cupcake work to do, specifically about 30+ more. I’ve already been worked like a dog today since the moment I got up, but instead of sleeping, what am I gonna do?

After this blog post imma bake more cupcakes to sell for charity tomorrow!!!

I am terrified that I am going to appear there tomorrow with a gazillion cupcakes in my hands and no one is going to buy and eat them. Then I’ll just look like a fat kid who ordered one too many cupcakes for herself so please come support Sam and I and Shiberty’s Sweets + do your part as a good samaritan!! ♥

If you’ve ever wondered what my cupcakes taste like, or you’re hesitant about buying 12 (my minimum order) or you wanna taste test first… this is your chance to nomz on food that I cooked personally for you!!! When else can you ever say you’re eating food cooked by Underage Girl the blogger, huh huh??

There will be other popular bloggers doing their own special thing there, and lucky draws & awesome prizes to be won! Come take pictures and hang out us and I am even considering selling hugs and kisses.

WHO WANTS TO BUY??

Or even better, buy 1 cupcake and get 1 hug free, yay!!!!!

SEE YOU GUYS THERE ON 9TH APRIL. STEADY? OK!
DON’T LEAVE ME IN THE LURCH THANKOO I DOWAN TO BE ALONE.

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So, with that out of the way…

I know I promised there will not be the word “cake” in my next post (which means this one.)

Evidently, I failed. -_-

For that I am sorry, even I am getting sick of looking and hearing about cakes wtf but it’s inevitable – cakes are a big part of my life now!! At least now I have a valid reason for being chubby, right? I mean c’mon, who wouldn’t be tempted with the amazing food I cook up?! Hey look something good for once came out of my weight gain!

Anyways to make up for all the cake talk, I will share a funny fact about myself with you (at least I think it’s funny)

Because I am self-absorbed like that. Even when I blog about a charity flea there has to be a section just for me.


HERE GOES NOTHING!

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Random fact about me for your amusement:

I am really hairy.

No, not really down south, but I mean I’m hairy in places where people shouldn’t be.

I have a moustache (For real??? YEAH.) above my upper lip, and it seems like the more I shave it the more obvious it grows back. I’m so not gonna post a picture of it although I’m tempted to, sometimes when I get lazy to shave I have to photoshop it away and it’s quite embarrassing actually. If you scrutinize my unphotoshopped close up pictures, you may just see some fuzz or a shadow above my lips o.O

Why bother putting on vain things like fake eyelashes when I have hairy moustache on my face?? I dunno! At least Sam doesn’t seem to mind.

Whenever I can’t be arsed to shave, my leg hairs get so long they remind me of orang utans.

LOL fuck did I just say orang utans??? I meant to type rambutan (huge difference but spelling similar) but I guess they give the same meaning in this sense.

I blame my unsightly hairyness on my chinese zodiac. According to my mum I am super hairy because I am a monkey (like really, it’s my asian horoscope) and monkeys are known to be hairy, stubborn and outgoing!!

It is most unfortunate that I should have excessive hair on places that I should be bald when places I SHOULD have hair, actually have none!!!!!!

Like my invisible EYEBROWS. *grumble grumble*

These were before I got brow resurrection done @ Browhaus.

This is after embroidery. ♥

And unfortunately, I happen to be slightly balding at the top of my head too. :@

Wtf is this shit???

God, Y U NO FAIR?!

P.S – This bit here has nothing to do with the rest of the post but for a moment I was very excited about my real life hair being EXACTLY the same as my Maplestory character hair LOL.

Yes recently Sam has urged me to start playing Maplestory with him again -_-

My maplestory hair

My real life hair!! LOLOL look like or not?

I even have the straight cut bangs and matching hair color!!!! *easily amused*

Ignore the retarded reflection face plz I was focusing very hard on trying to capture the back of my head on camera perfectly.

Of course my hair doesn’t look like that now, since some annoying voice inside of my head managed to convince me that dyeing it a different color + perming it + chopping it short would be a good idea.


……

Anyways, back to my point.

About 2 years ago, this guy from my school was eyeing me very intensely for about 3 minutes, until I got sort of uncomfortable…

I think he noticed that I noticed he was eyeing me, so he suddenly blurted, “Hey Jess, I wonder what it feels like to kiss you.”

And I was like… “WHAT? If you wanna know, why don’t you just kiss me and find out??”

But of course I didn’t actually say that, the thought just crossed my mind but he continued saying,

“I wonder how it feels like to kiss you with all that hair above your lip. Must be like kissing a guy who hasn’t shaved.”

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He then pulls a :3 expression and cracks up, leaving me absolutely bewildered. In front of our other school mates so they ended up laughing at me too.

That guy was actually one of the cuter boys in our class so needless to say I was kinda like T_T lol.


……Yup. Story of my life.

xoxo,
Jess

xoxo,
Jess
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