Dear Anonymous

Unsaid letters to people I’d never personally write to, for whatever reason I may have..

Dear Dad -
It’s time for one of those awkward talks / meet ups again, where I call you up regarding financial issues. This time round it’s about my enrollment in Curtin University, Western Australia. I know you sometimes think the only reason why I call you is because I need your money. That’s not true.

I would call you up for a casual lunch, and I’d call you when it’s my birthday or when it’s Christmas and all.. but I feel like you are probably too busy for me. You always seem to have scheduled appointments with patients and meetings with important people. Where does that leave me? You complain that I don’t call you enough – but why don’t YOU ever call ME?

I feel like, after so many years of being absent from your life, perhaps it’s just better to stay that way. I’m sorry… but I plan to bake you a nice cake this weekend when we meet. Will that make up for some things? Hopefully you won’t flip when you realize that my school fees and expenses are going to cost you tens of thousands of dollars. But, hey.. better spending that sort of money on my education than on more fake “autographed” eBay-ed Elvis Presley records right? I know you’ve always wanted me to go to a good university and become a successful career person like you anyway.


Dear Formspring Followers -

I will always be here to help you out, if you need somebody to talk to. No matter how nonsensical or redundant the question, I shall try to answer politely and helpfully. But please, can you try your best to phrase your questions as gramatically accurate as possible?

I know you’re already troubled (which is why you’re treating me as Aunt Agony on my Formspring) and you don’t need someone dissing your grammar or spelling online, but eh, half of the time I spend trying to figure out wth you are trying to say instead of actually thinking about the solution to your problem. I highly suggest taking language classes before solving relationship problems, effective communication is the key to every relationship. Really. You don’t have to be spectacularly good at English, just make sure your sentences makes sense. Thanks.

Also, if your boyfriend is cheating on you, or if your girlfriend is flirting with your best friend, or something along those lines is happening to you… Surely you don’t need ME to tell you – DUMP that hoebag before they cause more hurt to you?!?


Dear Butterflies and Moths –

I bloody hate you. I wish you would all just DIE!!!!! I have never felt so much hatred and wishful death upon anything or anyone else in my life, not even the girl that my ex cheated on me with. Because of you, I have this irrational phobia that makes me shriek out in fear whenever I catch sight of your existence. You don’t even need to be physically there, the thought of your disgusting fluttery wings is enough to send me into a hysterical fit.

Every single night, I am extremely wary and needlessly paranoid when I walk around my house, because I KNOW YOU ARE LURKING and waiting for me. Patiently and silently…. you await the perfect moment to strike. When I’m getting a drink from the fridge, or when I get up at 3am to pee, or when I come home during midnight and I’m ringing the doorbell.. You will suddenly come zooming into my face, and the next thing I know I’d be screaming and jumping all over the place, yelling senselessly. I highly suspect you will be the cause of my death one day.

I can see it all now….. Me, age 35, living in some nice, faraway country in my flashy car. Life is good, I have three beautiful kids, a great job that pays well and my husband never cheats plus I don’t have wrinkles yet. It seems like I’ve got it all – until, one day, you suddenly flutter into my face while I’m driving on some highway and I swerve uncontrollably and the brakes screeeeeeeech and BAaaAAaaaAM!!!!!!! My face meets heavy load truck.

So, before I learn how to drive I am determined to overcome my fear. At least, I’ll learn how to kill you with my bare hands soon. Instead of me running away from you, very soon you’ll be fluttering away from me. Enjoy your invincibility while you can, sucker.

Dear Neopets -

I have been spending entirely way too much time on you. To be frank, I’m sort of embarrassed that I still enjoy browsing your site at this age. Like, what the HELL Jess?! This was the game you were into when you were like 9 years old – why have you gotten “addicted” to it again??? The countless of hours you spend surfing the stupid forums could be spent entertaining your dedicated blog readers instead. Of course, I realized this eventually which is why I’m blogging now when I could be playing mini games on Neopets..

I need to set my priorities straight. But something tells me the moment I stop fiddling around with your site, I’d jump straight back into Left 4 Dead or Maplestory again. …….I can’t help it – I’m a gamer!!!!!!! When will this childish hobby end?


Dear Maid -

When you first started working in our house, I thought you were fantastic. Not the best I’ve had, but good. You could speak decent English, follow simple instructions and seemed pleasant plus hardworking. Now, you are not ANY of those. You have become incredibly rude, complacent, lazy, and slobbish in your work. You never clean stuff as thoroughly as you used to, and the work you do is always half-assed. I hope you realize this is the reason why I never offer you any of the food that I cook or buy back anymore.

YOU should be the one serving me, not the other way around. For that, enjoy eating maggi mee for as long as you are staying here, until you get off your lazy ass and start cooking nice food by yourself again, because you’re not having any of my share. Everyone who has met you agrees that you are annoying and attention-seeking and lazy. What happened?? It’s only been a couple of months. Sigh.

P.S – You have also developed B.O…. gross.

Dear Stomach -

Why the bloody hell do you hurt so much? Was it the fact that I ate 2-day-old bo bo cha cha??? Or the fact that I cooked cheesy mushroom risotto at 2am? Please forgive me. I feel like World War 3 is going on within my tummy right now. The worst part is, you hurt almost EVERY SINGLE DAY!

I know I don’t eat the healthiest meals or at regular timings, but there’s no need to react this way. I do not appreciate adverse reactions consisting of muscle spasms and spontaneous diarrhea. I would go see a doctor, but all they’ll probably tell me to do is eat healtier, drink water and stuff that I already know. I am nice to you – I buy and cook for you lots of yummy food – and this is how you treat me?!?! …Talk about ungratefulness. Tsk.

Dear Stupid Waiter / “Manager” I Met At Party World KTV Yesterday -

I don’t think I’ve encountered WORSE service than what you have shown yesterday!!!!!!! My mouth was literally hung wide open in horror. I will make it a point to blog about what happened in FULL DETAIL and make sure everyone who reads my blog will know about how the fucked up waiters at International Building’s Party World KTV are SPOILING Party World’s image. You casually told me, “Anything you not happy you can send a complaint to my management.”

O RLY? I AM going to, asshole! I will link this blog post to your management too and I hope they fire you or at least give you a warning. If your management decides to overlook this situation then they are really hopeless liao. No Public Relations skills at all. Your KTV joint used to be one of my absolute FAV place to hang out at with Sam, we’d go there like once every week, but mark my words when I say I’m not going back ever again. You are not worth paying a single cent for now. I will probably share my terribly experience in my next blog post.

I went to Party World KTV expecting to have a good time, but all I ended up with was an unpleasant experience I wish I didn’t have to go through. But it will not all be in vain because someone WILL pay for the displeasure I had to go through.

xoxo,
Jess

xoxo,
Jess

Baking my mum’s birthday cake!!

This year, I thought I’d make my mum a spiffy cake for her birthday since I didn’t know what to get her!

(although eventually we shared the cost to get her a pair of Ferragamo sunnies)

I decided on the classic vanilla, buttery cake because that’s one of her favourites. Next time I’ll try making a chocolate cake / fruit cake ^____^

So the recipe you’ll need for the cake is:

  • 1 cup white sugar
  • 3/4 cup butter
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 3/4 teaspoons baking powder
  • 3/4 cup milk

I altered the recipe quite a bit. You can find the original recipe here, (also, read the page for cooking instructions)

I love altering all my the recipes I get online to suit my own preferences. I think my version’s fluffier, lighter, more buttery and less dense.. so you can choose to follow either the recipe on the site or mine :)


Let’s get started!!!!

Creaming the butter and sugar together! I melted mine in the microwave for 30 seconds so it’s warm and soft.

Before you start on all this, remember to pre-heat your oven first!

Invest in a good mixer. It’d be the best thing you’ve ever done if you like to cook :P

Can you believe I used to slog away mixing my batter with forks and whisks? WTF technology yo!!! Mixers make everything so easy. (and messy, cuz it tends to splatter everywhere lol but the mess is worth cleaning up for)

Cracking 2 eggs into it…

I’m doing a step by step tutorial because a lot of people have absolutely no idea how to cook and they tend to ask me the strangest questions :3

I figured I could minimize the weird questions if I show you guys the process as much as possible.

Mixing in the vanilla essence, baking powder, flour and milk! Omg at this stage the batter is SUPER yummy, I couldn’t stop dipping a spoon in and licking it. Best ever!!!! :)

I don’t know why people get freaked out by uncooked batter. It’s possibly the most unoffensive uncooked food you could ever find. It’s just flour, eggs, butter, sugar… What are you grossed out by?! Haven’t you eaten raw eggs before?

(like on japanese raw beef, noodles, etc?)


Ta-dah!!!

Now that our batter is fully prepared, it’s time to pour it in your baking pan (here I’m using a 9×9 inch one I think) and pop it into the oven to bake for about 45 minutes at 180 degrees!

Do remember to check back CONSTANTLY on your cake when it’s in the oven to make sure it doesn’t overcook. When it’s non jiggly and when you poke a chopstick through the middle and it comes off clean, it’s done.

Every single cake takes different timings to bake, because it’s hard to get the consistency exact each time.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Playing with my ham ham while my cake’s browning up in the oven :DDDDDDDD

LOOK AT THAT FLUFFBALL. Who wuvz you??? I DO!!!!

Sitting on my lap nomming on some sunflower seeds :) He never seems to get sick of those!


D’awwwww!!!

He’s just the sweetest hamster ever, he never bites or squeaks at all and will allow strangers to hold him without kicking up a fuss!

When he was younger, I had to pick him up by myself (usually against his will LOL) but now whenever I lower my hand into the case, he automatically climbs into my palm and sits there!!! ♥

Oh and if anyone is wondering what happened to Hunnybuns, I gave her to my neighbour!!! Their hamster passed away (can that term be used for non-humans? hmm) and their 3 year old daughter really wanted another one so I gave hunnybuns to her and she was so happy!

Hopefully they get along better together than we ever did!

Luring Pudding with a seed again!!!

When he’s running in his little wheel, I put a seed near enough for him to smell it but not quite near enough for him to reach it so he always tries to stretch his neck and body as far as possible to get it and sometimes he falls over or tries to stand on 2 legs to reach it, it’s mad funny!!!

Ok maybe I sound a little sadistic but I always give the seed to him in the end, lol. And I don’t think he minds working for his food :P

Lately he seems to be into climbing stuff… hmmm I guess he’s getting bored with his cage already. But I dunno what sort of toys or entertainment to give him! He has a toilet roll, some tissue paper that he loves shredding to little bits and spreading it in his bedding and a swing and wheel.

That’s bout it.

If anyone has suggestions for how to play with your hamster (besides buying those gigantic expensive cages), let me know!!!

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

And the cake’s done!!!! It should have a nice golden brown top like this :)

Leave it to cool a bit, and meanwhile you can start on your icing!

We bought some whipping cream and this was the first time we’d ever tried it, I’m now a convert - never going back to bottled whipped cream again!!!

It’s not the same as the kind of cooking cream you use to make creamy pastas, etc. This one’s specifically made for desserts and cakes so it doesn’t deflate over time as long as you keep it cold and refrigerated!

The recipe was used for the cream:

1 cup whipping cream

1/4 cup icing sugar (NOT your normal sugar, this is the powdery fine one)

1 teaspoon vanilla essence

And I think we made 2 cups because we had to frost the whole cake!

Beat the mixture on high until soft peaks form and when it thickens up nicely. Sorry, you’ll definitely need a mixer for this, quite impossible to do this by yourself unless you have Hercules arms.

Don’t overbeat the icing, or it turns into this disgusting curd-like texture!!! And there’s no way to save it either, so keep your eyes firmly on the mixture!!!

It’s black-ish because we added pink and green icing to it for fun just to see what it’d turn out like. Like shit that’s what.

But your properly mixed whipped cream should look amazingly yummy, like this!!!!!! Look at all that creamy goodness ^_________________^

DEFINITELY finger lickable!

10 years worth of gym time too lol

We sliced the cake into half and then spreaded an even layer of cream on it…

Then put the top half of the cake back on and let it sit in your fridge (or in our case, freezer) for a bit together with the rest of the icing because EVERYTHING MELTS UNDER SINGAPORE’S HEAT!!!

You have to make sure the cream is constantly chilled or it will turn into slush. I think we put it in and took it out of the fridge like 6 times in total while we were working on it.

Next, cover the whole cake with cream!!! As you can see the cream was already losing its stiff texture :(

I HATE SG’s weather!!! Definitely one of the things I WON’T miss when I go to Perth.

And here we have our perfectly frosted cake ready for us to decorate, yay!!! Well not exactly perfectt, but eh, good enough for a first-timer.

Of course from here on, you can decorate it however you like but since I was baking it for my mother, I wanted it to look “elegant” and mother’s day-ish!!

It’s always good to know what design you want on your cake so you can prepare the necessary ingredients and tools first!

I added pink coloring to make the borders on the cake with a piping bag and a star tip :)

And wrote the words “Happy B’day” with a smaller round tip!!! I wanted to write “happy birthday mum” but ran out of space… =_=;

By this time, the sky was already dark, hence the colors of the cake look a lot less appealing but I assure you it’s the purest shade of white and the loveliest tone of baby pink there is!!!

Initially I was going to leave the cake as is, but then decided it was too plain like this, so…

I washed (very thoroughly, with soap and hot hot hot water) some fake flowers we had lying around and arranged them nicely around the cake!!!! Ingenious or what?

I could’ve made edible flowers out of buttercream or fondant like Sam did for my V’day present, but I wanted the cake to be fully-cream (it tastes better and more authentic that way, fondant actually tastes quite yuck) so fake flowers are an instant fix.. best part is you can re-use them!!!


My final product!!!

Not as perfect as I’d like it to be of course, but still very proud of Sam and myself!!!!! ♥

I think it looks pretty awesome! My mum loved it of course :) :)

And there you have it!!!!!!!!

My first attempt at making a full-cream cake!

They taste sooo much better than any other type of icing (on par with buttercream and meringue frosting, but a lot less sweet)

Word of advice: don’t try making the cream if you’re not in an air-conditioned room in Singapore. It WILL fail.

See the melted bottom part of my cake??? That’s the result of leaving it unchilled for only about 10 minutes. I know how you feel, cake. I go through it everyday too.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

This takes quite a lot of effort but it’ll make the person you’re baking for immensely happy. My mum was smiling ear-to-ear while we lit up a candle on the cake and sang “Haapppyyy Birthdaaayyy tooooooooooooo youuuuuuu~~~~!!!”

I haven’t seen her smile like that in awhile. ♥

Hope you guys enjoyed this post!!!!!

Feel free to ask me any questions, but read my post thoroughly before asking redundant ones!

xoxo,
Jess

xoxo,
Jess

Happy Birthday Mummy ♥

If you asked me who is the one person I love and appreciate the most in this world…

I wouldn’t hesitate to say, “My mum.”

In everyone’s life, there’s that irreplaceable person who holds a higher place in your heart above all others, the second person most special to you doesn’t even come close. The one person who’s been through it all with you and you know they’re gonna be there no matter what.

For some, it’s their partner, for others, it’s their best friend…

But for me, it’s my mother. ♥

Ever since I could remember, I’ve never had much of a dad figure around. The only memories I have of my father as a kid are extremely fuzzy ones of when I was like 3; and then when I was actually old enough to remember clear details at 6 years old, all I can remember is him flinging objects around violently and shouting angrily.

I don’t have soft, happy comforting memories of him… so whenever I seek comfort, I think of my mother.

Despite her short-temper and sharp tongue, deep down inside she’s the kindest person I know. If you’ve seen her in real life, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. She has this mellow, kind looking face that brings me comfort every time I look at it because I know I’m right at home when I see her, and even if I am having an absolutely shitty day, everything is going to be okay. Mummy’s here now, things will get better.

…I can’t tell you enough how much my mum means to me; in fact I’m tearing up like a little baby right now, completely choked with emotions and feeling quite useless because most of the time I can put my feelings aptly into words, but words just fail me now.

People are always walking in and out of my life, mostly away than towards me.

And so I learned the hard way that the only people I can trust are the ones who stick around even when shit hits the fan.

It’s no wonder I became mummy’s little girl. She’s the only permanent fixture in my life.. when friends turn around suddenly to backstab me, she tells me that they were a bitch / a bad influence anyway, and I should move on and ignore them because I’m better than that. When boyfriends break my heart and force me into tears, she fiercely calls them up to give them a piece of her mind and then comforts me by telling me how smart, young and beautiful her daughter is and that I will always be able to find a better guy.

.
.
.
.

I’ll never forget the way I used to be a such rebellious kid during my teenage years – I was so nasty, too much for any single parent to handle!!

Failing my classes without mentioning it to her, skipping school behind her back, rudely hurling vulgarities, going out till late at night without answering her calls or letting her know where I was and falling in “love” with some boy and ignoring all my other priorities…

At one point (or, many points lol) it got so bad that I was sent to have counseling sessions with the school’s shrink (they said I was depressed -_- yeah I probably was). I even tried to run away from home and received suspensions from school (..thank god I was never really expelled although I got warnings)

Yep, I was that kid whose teacher had her parent’s mobile on speed dial and my mum was that parent who would have to make trips down to my school frequently, pleading with them to give me another chance.

She got crazily frustrated of course, and told me off harshly countless of times, disciplining me in various ways but I knew everything she did was for my own good. Most of the time anyway lol. If a lesson’s not harsh, you never learn properly.

I am just glad she never gave up on me, because I can’t imagine where I’d be now if she had. A high school drop out? Some ah lian smoking underneath a HDB void deck having a baby she doesn’t even know who’s the father of???

*shudders*

She didn’t have to face just 1 naughty kid, my brother was quite the problem child as well!

…So now you know. In both primary school and high school I had huge issues. I remember breaking down in tears and yelling in her face, “YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT” and shutting her out from my life.

I know it’s unfair to say that to her, but I wish I knew what I know now back then. No parent ever understands their child fully, nor can they always provide them with everything they yearn or require but the best parent is the one who never stops loving their child selflessly no matter how flawed they are, and the ones who make the most sacrifices so that their children can be happy!

I guess I didn’t know who to blame for feeling so lost and confused. And since my dad wasn’t around for me to point the finger at, she took the beating instead. I’m sorry.

But how things have changed now, and I realize all the good things I have, I owe completely to her.

Now that I have grown up, I can appreciate all that she’s done for me fully… :)

.
.
.

Without her, I couldn’t be the well-grounded, happy individual person that I am today.

She has taught me so many lessons during these 18 years of my life, how to walk, how to talk; but the most important one of all is never giving up on what you love, and being nice to others even when life is kicking you with all its might in the balls.

My childhood wasn’t as happy and carefree as I would’ve liked it to be, but I know she tried as hard as she could to provide me and my brother a comfortable life. I know how many hours, days and nights she had to single-handedly slog away just to put food on the table and roofs over our heads, and I can only imagine how it feels like to face this world completely alone with 2 young kids, and no one out there willing to help you.

In her darkest times of need, where were the people she trusted to take care of her? None of them were there.

Yet today, if those very same people who abandoned her so selfishly many years ago turned up at her door step seeking help, she’d be more than willing to lend a helping hand if she could.

She never gave up on us, on herself, on life.. as close as she came thinking about it… she fought on, for me, for my brother, for our family. Small and imperfect as it is, it’s everything I have in this world.

“Nothing is ever perfect, it’s how we make the most out of it.”

That is undeniably the most amazing thing about my mum…

No matter how hopeless the situation seems, no matter how down she feels or no matter what the heck happens, she NEVER gives up on the people she loves. However dire the situation, she’ll find a way to make it better and even if she can’t, she’ll go through the rough times with you. Because of that, I feel like I can take on anything in this world.

Cuz whatever I do, I’ll have a pillar of support backing me up. Regardless of whether I fail or succeed, someone out there will always be proud of me :’)

Do you know she goes around telling people, “My daughter’s a blogger!!!!!” with the HUGEST grin on her face?? I’ve seen her do it in front of me before, I got quite embarrassed but it was the cutest thing ever, really!!!! I’m not even that successful a blogger but in her eyes, I’m always the star of any show.

She’s constantly saying to me that I was meant for great things, and what a wonderful daughter I already am right now so it keeps me having faith in myself too. She still ends many of our phone calls with “I love you.” and even though there’s a lump in my throat when I say it (I dunno, I can only say it to my boyfriend) I reply her the same thing everyday! And I’m 18!!!

I can’t believe somebody who’s gone through so much hardship can still remain as optimistic about life as she does. It’s incredibly motivational.. if you wonder where I get my family and life values from, it’s definitely from her.

Being a single parent is hard enough, but being a ROCKING single parent and the awesomest coolest bravo mum anybody could ask for is not something anyone can do. I think she deserves mad props for that.

.
.
.

Her birthday just passed on the 26th of February, and since I didn’t make her a birthday card as I normally would (I made her something else!), I figured she deserved a heartfelt entry dedicated to her at the very least. I’m really not that good with words in real life, I am not even half as expressive vocally as I am writing this blog but as long as the message is somehow delivered, then all is well in the end.

She’s been in Perth the past week and a half, but she’s flying back to SG in 12 hours so I get to see her tomorrow!!

And then I can show her the surprise that’s waiting for her and blog about it to share with you guys too. I hope she likes it ^.^

Happy Belated Birthday Mum!!!!!

I love you X infinity and beyond. ..Thank you for all the things you’ve done for me and kor kor.

xoxo,
Jess

xoxo,
Jess
Previous Posts123