Great Ocean Road

First of all, I’d like to begin this post with my heartfelt thanks, with regards to my previous post “Overcoming Obstacles”.

I would like to sincerely thank every single one of you who have sent me emails, left me messages in MSN or comments on my blog, etc…

It is extremely heartwarming to know that when I feel like I cannot talk to anybody I know in real life, I always have my blog to fall back onto. It also helps that I have such wonderful readers who may not comment all that often, but they are here when I really need them!!

I’m amazed at the willingless of people sharing their very personal stories and offering me first-hand advice. I read every single message sent to me word for word and I really do think about what message you are trying to bring across, and it has helped and supported me more than you know.

To be honest, this has been more encouraging and productive than talking to ANYONE else about my problems..

It’s really cool how people are trying to view the situation from my perspective, putting my individual characteristics into consideration while dishing out advice, (instead of people always telling me what they think they would do) because after all I’m the one going through this situation right now!

I have not made up my mind 100% yet, but for now, I’m more confident of taking the risk of going to Australia to study as I really just needed that extra push from people to remind me how much I genuinely want this opportunity.

Not just for my relationship, but for me to grow and experience as a person too! While I continue to ponder about this tricky situation..

Thanks for being incredibly supportive, and those who are not supportive, at least you are honest. I welcome all sorts of opinions on this issue, in fact I need to consider as many factors as possible to make a well-informed decision. I am really glad that people can relate to my blog in a certain way, and I feel extremely fortunate to have received this much concern from “strangers online”.

I always knew I had awesome readers but I never knew just how awesome they truly were.

Much love!!!! ♥

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“The Great Ocean Road is a 243-kilometre (151 mi) stretch of road along the south-eastern coast of Australia. The road was built by returned soldiers between 1919 and 1932, and is the world’s largest war memorial; dedicated to casualties of World War I.” - Image and information from Wikipedia

….I first heard about the Great Ocean Road when I was google-ing “most beautiful places in the world”. I arrived at this website that did a feature on the Great Ocean Road, dubbing it as one of the most scenic roads in the entire world.

I knew then it HAD to be at the top of my “To-Do list” during my first trip to Melbourne, I even remember tweeting about wishing I could have a drive down that road one day… And voila!!


My wish came true a few months later. ♥

Ok I don’t have any pics at the start of the day, because me and Sam planned to wake up at 6am for our grand road trip but failed miserable and overslept till 12pm. LOL #suckers

But we immediately got up and packed our stuff (gosh why we didn’t plan this properly I don’t know) and we were out of the house by afternoon…

We passed by some really gorgeous places on our way to the Great Ocean Road (it’s quite far out), but the sun was going down soon and we didn’t stop to take pictures >:(

Obviously badly edited pic but too lazy to make changes so this will do la.

Don’t judge my weird outfit. We were in a rush and I just wanted something warm and comfortable, so I grabbed Sam’s shirt that was lying on his bedroom floor LOL. It’s a 6 hour drive yo!!!

I didn’t even comb my hair so I just threw on a beret hahaha

For a road that’s named “Great Ocean Road”, you’d expect to be driving along beaches the whole time… However most of the time spent driving is actually on deserted weird roads through small towns LOL.

It took about 3-4 hours before we finally saw the coast line -_-

The good thing is when you finally DO see the coastline, it’s pretty much the only thing you see… it’s great and all, if you ignore the nauseating winding small roads!

YAY!! Ocean…. Finally ^.^

I wish the lighting was better in pictures…

Need to learn how to use my camera better. Swear to god it was beautiful in real life though. There was like nobody around the area (well goodness knows why, we were practically in the middle of nowhere ) so it was very romantic.

Sam giving his trademark sultry stare… Oh yeah you work it baby. Lol

We were both really happy because this is a road trip that we’ve been looking forward to and talking about for months!!

Oh ya I did mention that this is in the other part of Australia, right? It’s near Melbourne, which means that this is a 5 hour flight from Western Australia..

I’m gonna be alternating my future travel posts between Melbourne and Perth so don’t get confused!

Spent some time admiring the views before hopping back into the car.. Coming to think of it, it’s a real shame we didn’t take more pictures that day!!

I forgot the names of the small towns we were in, but I tried an incredible potato spud that had caramelized onions, tuna, spring onions, bacon, cheese and basically EVERYTHING on it! I’ve never had potato like that before.

Giving you a rough idea of what it’s like..

Driving on the edge of cliffs, looking down at a seemingly endless coastline.


Nothing but blue skies and the horizon surrounds you!!!

It was a full moon. Pretty, isn’t it?

By the time we drove past Lorne and all the other towns to get to Apollo Bay (where we were staying along the Great Ocean Road for the night) it was already like 8pm, so we picked Sandpiper at the very last minute as all the others were completely booked out!

I was kinda skeptical at first, as I’ve always had weird impressions of “motels”, I assume they’re shabby and people only go there to have sex while their spouses are at work (thanks to the movies)... I guess I’m rather sheltered and snobbish that way because I’ve only ever stayed in luxury hotels.

But I was proven wrong. They’re not as posh of course, but something about the small scale apartments make the whole experience more personal! I liked it.

I think I may just stay at more holiday homes and motels than hotels now :]

Apollo Bay is really photogenic.. We had breakfast early in the morning at this cute cafe by the road. Been eyeing it since last night, I love the little potted flowers by the window sill, such a nice touch!!!

We dined Al Fresco because the morning air is really fresh and we don’t wake up early often enough to appreciate it more lol!

Such beautiful days in winter…. C’mon Aussies, Winter is not that bad!!! Many days with cheery bright sun. (Although it’s freezing at night

Waiting for breakfast! Erm and yea, I still didn’t have time to comb my hair… :3

The sun was crazy bright, so much that I didn’t even need to adjust the contrast of this photo to be this vibrant.

Great experience at this cafe compared to the restaurant we dined at the previous night for dinner.. Some people were surprisingly racist there.

I’ve always thought of Australia to be a very advanced and culturally diverse country, so the last place I’d expect racism from is a popular tourist destination! Doesn’t bother me that much as long as those pricks don’t get in my faces, but it’s kinda hard to eat when half the restaurant is staring at you.

OJ = My fav brekkie drink

I ♥ bright coloured coats..

Winter wear is so simple yet fashionable and you don’t even have to try!

Breakfast fit for a king!!

Bacon, sunny side up, boiled spinach, sausages, mushrooms, grilled tomatoes… Win.

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A great start to our day, and we’re back on the road again!!!


I L♥VE driving in the country side,
especially with the window down. I’m not the one driving of course, but I reckon riding in the passenger seat is even more awesome.

Feels like I got all the time in the world to appreciate the goodness in life, while looking out of the window and taking in all the sights the country side has to offer!

I still get a kick every time we pass by cows or sheep, even though we must’ve passed by possibly thousands.

I climbed onto an empty house’s porch just to take this picture!!

The house was perched on top of this hill, looking down at MAGNIFICENT views.. Albeit a bit in the middle of nowhere, I would love to own a house like that.

Judging by its emptiness I reckon its a holiday home.. would’ve loved to stay there!!

Speaking of hills and slopey lush greenery, every time I see something like that, a voice inside my head goes “Over the hills and far away.. TELETUBBIES come out to play!!!”

..Is this normal? -__-

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We take some time to frolick around the beach…

Test shot to see how bright the sun is!

I wanna take a dipppppppppppppppppppppppp OMG why did we have to go during winter?!?

Can you tell?

Red’s my new favourite colour.

Haahahaha MAJOR AWWWWWWs!!! ♥

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine… You make me happy when skies are grey!!! :>


I can’t wait to see where this path takes us.

Me being Bollywood around some statues that’s meant to represent something – what, I have no idea.

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Back on the road again!!!
This time literally.

Check out the larger than life backgroundSoooo pretty!! Undisturbed countryside natural awesomeness.

I think this look out was called Castle Cove!

By this time, we’d been on the road for a couple of hours and it was already noon so the lighting was much better to be taking landscape pictures – as a result, these following shots turned out fantastic!

How can I resist camwhoring with such a spectacular backdrop!!!!


Yes, I know… Woah!!!!

It’s a double rainbow ;)

Looks like Paradise to me!

I’ve never seen as many rainbows in such a short time span as I did in Australia :)

Squinty picture of Sam and I!!!

I probably blog about and post pictures of the beach more than any other blogger out there… but I just can’t get enough of them :’)

Every single one is beautiful in their own way!!!

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“Country road… Take me home… To the place… I belong!!!!”

Mooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The next few hours was quite a mad rush…

As a last minute decision (we had no idea what we were gonna do that very morning) we spontaneously popped by Otway National Park to go for a tree top walk!!

We were in the middle of a forest and this was pretty high up!!!

I’m not scared of roller coasters or even heights when I’m doing stuff like para sailing and hot air ballooning, but when I’m on some shaky bridge that looks like it may collapse any moment… I start to shit my pants.

The “bridge” had many intended holes in them so you can LOOK DIRECTLY DOWN to the ground…

I did not like that at all.

LOL @ my face.

That’s my “Omg is this metal structure safe? Omg why are you taking a picture of me in this situation? So cruel! OMG WHY ARE WE SWAYING!!! I feel like I’m falling over!! AAAHHH SAVE ME, RAILING!! *clutches onto for dear life*” face.

I swear the motherfucking tower swayed like a bitch when the strong winds blew. The trees around us were not swaying but the metal structure we were on was!! WTF.

Sam was not very forgiving > :(

He kept laughing at me… You can laugh all you want, but at least I kept my bad hair under a beret!

I tried to mask my fear with a fake smile but you can totally tell how awkward I was lol. To make things worse, we had to climb 5 flights of stairs up (then down) this twirly swirly staircase that made me have a headache, so didn’t help the swaying motions at all!!

I guess it still was pretty cool in its own way, being in the forest high amongst the trees, listening to leaves swishing in the wind and birds calling.. (so many exotic birds in forests!!!)

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We drive for another hour to get to this rainforest / waterfall place..

Much more willing to take photos now!! Yay for SOLID GROUND!

And woah the forest looks enchanted in this photo.

You know what I absolutely ADORE about Winter?

…All the bugs are DEAD!!!

Not a single butterfly or moth was seen throughout my entire trip, even in rainforests and gardens!!! How awesome?

No mosquitoes, no houseflies.. basically nothing. ♥

I told Sam I really wanted to see some waterfalls, so we took a short hike into this rainforest that was recommended by the visitors centre and when we got there, we realized… WTF WE HAD TO HIKE / TREK FOR LIKE AN HOUR before we could even see the waterfall.

Bitch!!!! Why nobody told me!

I thought I’d just have to take a 10 or 15 minutes walk and it will be right before my eyes.

Mad fucking tiring, most of the trekking was uphill T____T

We had already trekked for about an hour before this as well, in the previous tree top walk place!

I seem to be interested in this super low tree, but really, I was just dying for an opportunity to take a rest (Sam wouldn’t let me!) so I squat down beside a tree pretending to wanna take a photo. Lol

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After what seemed like an eternity of pure torture, and lots of whining and panting….


Ta-dah!!!
We reach the waterfall place.

I took one look at it and went, “WTF? This is what our whole hour of pure hard trekking was for?”

We came all the way here just to look at this?!?!?!

…………….

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I got quite pissed off, but thankfully on our way back we saw even more waterfalls!!

There were 3 cascading waterfalls in total (so that’s what all the uphill hike was about) and even though it looks quite small in the photos, it was relatively big!

Pity we couldn’t hang around the base of it and that the plants was blocking quite a bit of the view.

Now we know why it’s called the Triplet Falls!

I’ve come to realize that I love the sound of trickling water and water rushing down from above and the splashing of water and anything water related ^.^

(the only one I don’t like is continuous dripping from taps.. creepy)

Sam was exhausted… not as much as me, but tired enough, mostly because he had to drive for hours AND drag my unfit ass up and down several rainforests @_@

Random creepy branch that looks like a hand that wants to cup your boobies hahaha!!!

And random pretty yellow flowers!!!

Sam took this shot, so it’s not really in focus but I do like the colours and composition.

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Here comes my favourite part!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So exciting :DD

Our last main activity for the day was going on a HELICOPTER RIDE!! ♥

Wooohooo so psyched, I’ve always wondered what it’s like to be in a helicopter but never got the chance to, NOW I CAN SAY I HAVE!!

Been on an aeroplane plane, been parasailing, been hot air ballooning, been on a helicopter,.. what other sky / air-related activities can I do?

I’m DYING to try out hang gliding, it looks wicked!!!!!

I am exceptionally pleased because my first helicopter ride was over a magnificently scenic place – the Twelve Apostles!!!

One of Australia’s most famous natural marks, along with the Great Barrier Reef…

It’s funny though, they’re actually limestone formations so apparently many have corroded and been washed away / broke into pieces since they were first named “Twelve Apostles” and right now I think there are only five or six “Apotles” left, instead of 12.


Go see them before they are all gone!!

It was another spontaneous decision that we made on the spot, I didn’t know they offered flights over the Twelve Apostles until we got there and saw a crowd outside this building!!

I looked at Sam with big twinkling eyes saying, “OMG DO YOU WANNA GO ON A HELICOPTER RIDE??”

he was like, “Hell yeah!!!”

…And that’s why I love you, hehe!!!

Helicopter lifting off!! Extremely noisy, but not quite as windy as I thought (you see them making mini tornados in movies lol)

OUR TURN NEXT!!!

Ours was the special red copter instead of the yellow one, for a higher price, they’ll fly you much closer to the water (200m) instead of the usual 500m for much better views!

I half-ran over to the helicopter in excitement, heart racing and eyes still squinting in the blinding sun…

I had a little bit of trouble climbing into the front seats (very high!) but before I knew it, I was strapped in and we were lifting off!!! MAD!

Hello handsome pilot of the day!!! Hehe.

The moment you enter the copter, you’re given these headphones to put on and it instantly drowns out the loud noise the chopper blades are making!

And you get to converse with your other passengers through the microphones.


Taking offfffffffffff!!!

It was surprisingly unstable (that’s what it felt like at least) like the chopper was swaying left and right for quite a bit before it stabilized and increased height steadily. Super exciting!

As with all flying experiences, this one was really unique.

It was in no way like flying in a plane, because in a chopper you can feel EVERY single movement the pilot makes, like when he turns left, you entire body is tilted left and you can actually feel it because you see it and the chopper is much smaller than a commercial plane!!

Love it!! I always let out a lil squeal whenever there’s a change of direction hahaha

Behold, THE TWELVE APOSTLES!!! (well they’re somewhere there haha)

Aren’t they maaaaaaarvelous?

Trying to take photos of something 200m below you while in a swaying chopper with manual focus in harsh sunlight proves to be a bigger challenge than it sounds!!

I’m sold – there is no better way to look at a coastline than from above :)

I WANTED TO SEE WHALES!!! Apparently they’d spotted 2 earlier in the noon.

Mad jealous!

Me: Mr Pilot, can I take a shot of you?”

Mr Pilot: If you want, but I wouldn’t see why… the coastline down on your left is much more attractive.

*feels like I’m falling over*

And now we’re officially flying OVER WATER!

I’m sorry that the photos don’t do it very much justice, but this was honestly one of the most breathtaking moment in my life.

I remember my heart beating really fast and trying to catch my breath while screaming in my head, “OMG THIS IS SO SURREAL!! BEAUTIFUL!!!!”


You HAVE to see this for yourself… :’)

Sam in the back!!! He let me have the front seat :)

OMG do you see what I see??

………It’s an island shaped like a SEAHORSE.

It even has an eye, wtf! The head and body and everything looks completely like a sea horse. What are the odds…

Tell me I’m not crazy and that you see it too!

Last picture of the Twelve Apostles!!!!

Simply put – Majestic would be an understatement.

Without a doubt, one of the most beautiful places in the world. Thanks for the recommendation, random website and google!

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What an experience!!
Feel like jumping for joy just by blogging about it :)

My post is coming to an end soon, here’s ending off with some last few pictures of more beautiful coastline!

It’s not called the Great OCEAN road for nothing!


Great Ocean Road, you’ve been great indeed.

We had such an incredible time traveling down your winding coastal roads…. Thank you.

I don’t know why I always say thank you at the end of such posts, even when there’s nobody in particular to thank.

I just feel the need to give thanks, because I feel so damn fortunate, I’m afraid that by not being appreciative, my opportunities to see more of the world and have more of such inspiring experiences would be limited.

Sounds silly, I know… but it’s always a good thing to count your blessings :’)

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P.S – Missing you baby.

You are mostly the one I should give thanks to for all the sheer happiness you’ve given me.

xoxo,
Jess

xoxo,
Jess

Overcoming Obstacles

Today is going to be a wordy post about everything and nothing, so if you’re a perv looking for hot pics of me to wank off too, you can piss off now.

Now, the rest of you normal people who interested in reading my daily musings, please proceed!!!

This blog post is entitled “Overcoming Obstacles”, and rightfully so, because today I will be talking about all the things I’ve been struggling to deal with recently! Partly inspired by people who are CONSTANTLY telling me

“Oh, you’re such a lucky girl / I wish I was you / Your life is perfect”

Nobody’s life is perfect, and mine certainly isn’t!!

I figured we could all do with one less picture-intensive travelogue post and actually get inside my head this time, and fill you guys in on the more unpleasant part of my life… why??

Because I don’t want people to think I’m trying to portray a perfect image here!

I consider my blog to one of the most real around, so when it becomes too sugary sweet, I like to bring it back to reality and let people know that I am only human. And if you ever thought my life was perfect, you are foolish!!!

Ok, no doubt I don’t have anything majorly depressing to deal with, like physical disabilities or dying family members or not having enough money to survive on, etc… But hey, I deal with my own shit too ok!

Here we go, sob fest about to begin, I’m gonna type up a ranty storm.

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Recently I have REALLY been struggling to cope with my long distance relationship.

I can’t remember how many nights I’ve cried, and it wasn’t just the “omg I miss my bf” kind of sob…

It’s the, “AGGHHHH WTF AM I DOING *finds it hard to breathe* FUCK MY LIFE IT SUCKS SO MUCH, I WANT TO DISAPPEAR OFF THE FACE OF THIS EARTH!!! *bangs head against the wall*” kind of cry.

I haven’t been telling anyone at all, I haven’t been blogging or even tweeting about it… Because I know that it’s a problem I’m gonna have to deal with on my own. If you’ve ever been in a long-distance relationship, you’ll know exactly what I mean.

No matter what people say, it doesn’t make you feel better… I mean what kind of advice or kind words can people offer you to ease the pain? What sort of comfort can you receive to make the nights less lonely, except from the person you so dearly miss himself?

Here’s what being in a long distance relationship feels like.


IT’S SPECIAL.

And I mean like really fucking special.

You KNOW for sure that any 2 people in a long distance relationship are fucking crazy in love, because NOBODY in their right mind would put themselves up to experience such pain and costs unless their feelings were the purest from the bottom of their hearts.

People in long-distance relationships devote more time, more money, more resources, more effort… More everything!!!

I consider myself fucking lucky because my bf comes over about once every month, I can’t imagine not seeing him for more than that because everytime he’s gone, I feel like I lose a part of myself and I’m not the happiest girl on earth that I usually am!!

You know that lovely feeling you get around the person you love?

I love who I am around him, because I’m forever laughing, forever stuffing my face with yummy food, forever taking cat naps and tickling each other on the bed… but without him I am a sad, angry, and lost girl.

I suppose I’ve grown so attached to him that it feels weird waking up in the morning without him lying right next to me, it’s weird not having to ask him what he wants for dinner because he’s not here…


I feel incomplete, and vulnerable.

But it doesn’t take very long for me to turn from lost to frustrated…

Because I’m so deprived of my usual loving and cuddles (and a lot of other things), I become really ANGRY. I get pissed off at everything easily, *especially* him.

Suddenly, the person I ultimately adore to death becomes the most annoying person on earth.

Everything he says is stupid, everything he does is retarded, he even looks irritating to me!!!! I can’t even look at his face on Skype without feeling annoyed.

I am not interested in having any conversations with him, and basically I want to spend as much time doing my own thing (like playing online games) as possible and whenever I get the chance to, I lash out at him.

I yell at him when he doesn’t play properly in games, I take offence at everything he says…..

I guess it’s because I’m so bloody angry at him for putting me in this situation.

It’s like, screw you!!! You may not be a cheating lying unethical asshole like my ex-boyfriend, but you probably make me cry just as often because I miss you so much.

I mean of course I know he technically didn’t PUT me in this situation, because it takes two hands to clap, right?? But sometimes I wonder why I even bother making myself go through this.. I know it’s because I ♥ him, but I’m such a needy gf that being in a LDR is killing me!

I have to have attention from my boyfriend 24/7, like you wouldn’t even believe. I’ve become a lot more independent after being in this relationship of course, but I’m still attention-seeking as always!!!

I’m very very very close to my significant other, since I’m not that close to friends… I’d rather focus all my attention on one person than have to divide it, y’know?


I like living in my small protected bubble, surrounded only by very few people in my life, people I genuinely like and can trust.

Which leaves me wondering… why the fuck do I have a boyfriend for when he’s not around here 3/4 of the time??? Whenever he’s not around, I’m like a lifeless zombie!!!!!!

I’m emo, lonely, (my mum is always traveling and the rest of my family isn’t that close-knitted) and angry!

And then that part of me tells my brain that this whole long distance relationship is retarded and that it needs to end. I end up starting lots of fights with him, just so I can slip the words “let’s take a break” in somewhere and hope he doesn’t take it too hard..

When the drama is all over, (it usually happens at night when I’m PMS-y and emotional) and I wake up the next morning feeling heaps better, I remember what I did last night and I feel incredibly bad because I can say really mean things when I’m upset. The experience may be over, but the words always hurt when you think about what was said, I know that first-hand….

I feel so fucking guilty but I cannot help it either!!!

In my defense, sometimes he really is motherfucking annoying and I just want to gouge out his eyeballs with my fingernails -_-

Sometimes he completely deserves all the shit he gets from me.

I don’t wanna sound TOO emo, that’s why I’m taking a “omg this is so frustrating” tone to this post rather than a “fuck my depressing life I’m hurting and crying and sad” tone to it…. But honestly, I never blog about all the stupid things my bf does and it affects me way more than anyone knows.

Sometimes I feel like it’s really unfair, just because he SEEMS perfect, doesn’t mean he is!! Just like my life portrayed my blog. I didn’t do it intentionally, but nobody likes to bitch about their life constantly right? (except whiny annoying people)


I try to put the limelight on happy, lighthearted stuff because it’s a lot easier to deal with, obviously.

People see my bf always buying me flowers, expensive gifts, bringing me on holidays, making lovely DIY gifts for me… (which is wonderful) so whenever I complain about my bf, nobody ever takes me seriously! FML. So much for being “optimistic”

You want me to write down every jerky thing he’s done meh? Can’t you just take my word for it that he can be a real ass sometimes? I’m a very fair person!!!

If he’s being nice, I will say he’s very nice. When I have to say he’s an ass, TRUST ME, he IS an ass.

I guess the long distance gets to him as well, so he’s less charming and a lot less tolerant of my antics….

When the storm settles down, things will eventually get better, but the vicious cycle will continue again in a few weeks or a month’s time, each time more aggressive than the previous.

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At the start of a long-distance relationship, you know it’s going to be hard.

People ask you, “Are you sure? It’s a lot of trouble!” and you ask yourself, “Are you bloody sure? It’s going to be a FUCKLOAD OF TROUBLE!!!”

And there’s a small little voice inside your head that’s going, “Screw this, you’re crazy!”” but really your heart is just beating at a hundred miles per hour and it’s screaming,

“OMG BUT I REALLY LIKE THIS GUY, SO OKAY!! LET’S GO LET’S GO OMG I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE WHERE THIS TAKES US HEHEHE”

And that is the only voice you actually ever listen to.

At least that’s what happened for me. Everything was so fucking magical at the start, I was dancing around my room every single day and singing love songs deep into the night and loving life because I thought it popped right out of a fairy tale book.

I thought I’d finally met my Prince Charming (eh thats always the impression you get at the start) but I think me and Sam progressed WAY too fast for our own good… Our “honeymoon” period barely lasted a month and everything was so much more difficult from then on!!!

I wonder if it’s normal for couples to fight and make up as often as we do?

Well it’s probably normal, but most definitely not healthy!!!!

The problem with Sam is that he can have a 360 degree personality change JUST LIKE THAT *snaps fingers*

It’s like, one moment he’s Prince Charming, who is the sweetest guy you could ever imagine and the next moment he’s this jerk that I don’t even know.

And it’s really frustrating because he switches his two personalities on and off so much, I don’t ever know that to expect next! Even when he switches on Prince Charming, I still feel angry with Prince Dickhead and I’m like, “YEA, you’re not sorry, so stop saying you are.. you’re gonna turn all Prince Dickhead on me soon enough!!”

I hate how guys throw around the words “I’m sorry” so easily. It’s more than likely even more commonly used than the words “I love you” (both having extremely great value) but I suppose the latter is not more popular because I just know there are more jerks than romantics out there.

For those who haven’t a slightest clue, here is what I AM SORRY means:

“I am sorry means I sincerely regret the foolish actions I have done to hurt your feelings, I understand that my insensitivity has caused you pain but I am hereby declaring that I will not do the same thing to hurt you ever, ever again, because you just mean too much to me and I can’t bear to see you heartbroken like that anymore.”

Y’KNOW???

Not fucking “I will now throw the words I’m Sorry in your face because it’s a convenient loophole us pathetic guys like to abuse and make use of because we think it gets us out of hot soup easily, you girls lap it all up like eager bitches and even though I say I’m sorry, really, I’m not, because imma do the same fucking thing to hurt you tomorrow again, heehaw.”

…How do you deal with a guy like that?

I mean, it’s not as if he doesn’t know that he has split personalities!!!

He always goes “OMG I DON’T KNOW WHY I DID THAT, I’M SUCH A DICKHEAD.”

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Well I don’t wanna go on and on about what a jerk my bf is, because he is nice MOST of the time, so I’ll stop complaining about him.

The point I’m trying to get at is, long distance relationships are really tiring and they’re harder than you think!!!

They do change your personalities and they make two people who are completely in love become completely sick of each other.

You become a different person… And you know the other person is different, too. And it leaves you wondering if you’re still meant to be together, since things have changed so much.

I really really like you, but because of that I’m also really really annoyed with you, but really… I just really like you.

Having said all this, I’m not going to give up soon… or at least I hope I won’t!!! I hope this annoyance and frustration is only temporary, and that things would fall into their rightful place soon.

It’s very intimidating to think about, considering the only way we’re ever gonna “solve” this long-distance problem is to…

MOVE IN WITH EACH OTHER.

I guess that’s PART of the reason why I wanna go to Melbourne to study.

Not just because I want to be with my bf, I also genuinely want to experience the lifestyle there but it’s so scary to think I’m gonna live-in with my boyfriend in ANOTHER COUNTRY at the age of 18!!!!

Hello who the hell goes to live in another country with her bf at 18??

The thought if it is absolutely crazy, like the plot came out from the movies. Sam says he’s going to rent a place for the both of us and I was kinda shocked at the idea.


It’s very flattering and all, but I FEEL LIKE A KID STILL.

Moving in with someone else and having a place I can call my own just seems like something so adult-ish and it scares me because, WHAT HAPPENS if things between the two of us don’t work out?

What happens if he dumps me, or if I meet someone new, or if we just get utterly sick of each other… and we’re stuck in the same bloody house?

It’s not as if I have another option – I’m going to be halfway through my studies in Aus, and nowhere else to go. I don’t have any relatives in Australia, at least not in Melbourne, and if he kicks me out of the house, I’m dead!!!!

I am not doubting him or myself, I am simply being realistic. I have to be mature and be real and think about very possible consequences when my future is at stake!

I’m not gonna be like, “Ooooh we’re going to get a house together in Melbourne and have kids and live happily ever after hehehe”

Ok la Sam is not the kind who would EVER kick anybody out of the house but you know, it’s a lot of responsibilities to face. The moment you move in with somebody, it’s like REAL COMMITMENT.

I guess to avoid this problem I can also stay in a hostel or something, but that’s kinda retarded since if I’m going to Australia to spend more time with him, I might as well stay with him! It’s all so very confusing for me…

At the start, I was 100% sure.

I was bent on moving to Australia and living a wonderful happy life there with my bf but now that things have gotten a lot harder and we’ve been having a lot more shitty times, I’m just not so sure anymore.

I’ve seen things I never wanted to see, found out things that I never wanted to know… I’m just not so confident. Sigh.

I still love my boyfriend very much, but I hate having doubts about something.

I can’t have a single doubt in my relationship because that doubt will grow and grow into bigger suspicions and eventually it will self-destruct on its own and it will be all because of that one tiny doubt!

I’ve always believed relationships should be a HUNDRED PERCENT, no less. If it’s anything less, it is NOT worth holding on to and I’m better off being alone.

Sorry if I seem like I’m just rambling on endlessly, but I am so fucking confused.

I am going to graduate from my Diploma course soon, and I would have to make a life changing decision then.

Stay in Super Sian Singapore and wonder what could have been, or take a huge leap of faith and jump into Australia and hope that everything turns out wonderfully?

You know, if I do move in with Sam, I would definitely have to move out one day and the thought itself scares me to death.

Unless we get married…. But I’m naturally assuming that’s out of the question now (I’m bloody 18!)

I think breaking up with somebody is earth-shattering enough, imagine having to move out and shift countries too!!

I’M COMPLETELY FREAKING OUT HERE.

I feel like I’m left with no choice, because if I don’t move there, we would break up anyway because I CAN’T STAND A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP ANYMORE

and I don’t want him to come to Singapore anyway because I desperately want to get out of here!!

Just so you know, I am NOT afraid of commitment… Hell, I am ALL about commitment when it comes to relationship. I am dedicated and I will give everything I have.

But this time it’s not just about me and what I have to offer.

Moving to Australia would mean leaving behind everything I’ve ever known… leaving behind familiar Sunny ol’ Singapore, as much as I want to get out of this place, I grew up here.


Could I get used to life elsewhere?
I’m gonna miss my family and the few friends that I have so so so much!!!!

It will be expensive, and I obviously don’t have the means to come up with that sort of money myself, so I’m gonna have to ask a huge favour from my parents.

What if I fuck up halfway (be it due to lifestyle / studies / relationships there) and I want to come home?

I don’t want to disappoint my parents!!!! I mean I have to get REALLY good grades there, otherwise it’s all for nothing.

And I’m so not the kind who likes to stress over grades…. I get decent grades and all, but I’d HATE to become one of those people who only ever thinks about mugging and mugging and books and lessons and become so lifeless and sad.

I believe that education is important, but there are far more important things in life than to fuss over whether you get A’s or B’s.


Also….

It doesn’t help that the only question I ever get nowadays from people is,


“So when are you going to Australia to live / study?”

Every time I meet a friend, a lecturer, a relative, or even blog readers people will just ask me…

“How come you’re not in Australia yet? When are you going? Who are you going to live with? What are you going to study?”

AHHH STOP IT!!!! A simple “How are you?” would suffice, ok?

If you know me in real life and you’re reading this, pls DON’T ask me that question… I should have never mentioned it to people in the first place -_-

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WHAT SHOULD I DO?????
I wanna rip my hair out!!!

I hardly ever ask advice from anybody, not from my friends, my mum or even my boyfriend because most of the time I know exactly what the fuck I’m doing.

But this is a big effing dilemma with a capital D because it’s a big decision and there’s just TOO many possible factors involved.

You can’t deduce an evaluative conclusion by examining the circumstances because it’s just one of those things that you gotta try it out for yourself to ever know what it’s even like.


Some advice from people would be real swell,
especially if you’ve ever moved in with a boyfriend or studied abroad (where you don’t have any friends / relatives) or been in a long distance relationship like mine before..

I would love to hear from you and if possible, do share your personal experiences! Is it as scary as I think it is?

DID YOUR BF KICK YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE? Ahhhh!

I don’t want to make the wrong decision and regret it for a very long time.

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I’m 18, and right now I’m facing one of those big crossroads in life where you either

take an awesomely epic journey,
or…..

go on a one way track along the highway to hell.

xoxo,
Jess

xoxo,
Jess
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