pick up lines! pun intended

I LOVE LITERATURE.

Reckon it’s the best class besides Geography!

I love the way we learn through different, innovative methods instead of the traditional textbook style.

Here’s to you, Mister Raymond Yeo! Hehehehe.

Recently us Lit students were discussing about PUNS in class..

Don’t know what a pun is?

Courtesy of Wikipedia,

A pun (or paronomasia) is a phrase that deliberately exploits confusion between similar-sounding words for humorous or rhetorical effect.

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Being a fan of cheesiness and word play, I now present to you some puns that are bound to make you giggle, or at least smile!

I’m not exactly the kind of blogger who “copy and pastes random information” onto my blog for the sake of entertaining my readers, because that’s kinda lame,

But how often do you see bloggers posting about PUNS instead of your plain old boring jokes? hehehe.

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s alright now.

There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn’t control his pupils. -

HAHAHA MY FAVOURITE!

Some people’s noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run.

The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out.

Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you.

He said I was average – but he was just being mean.

When William joined the army he disliked the phrase ‘fire at will’.

It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.

Every calendar’s days are numbered.

To some – marriage is a word … to others – a sentence.

It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

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Ok enough about PUNS. How about pick-up lines?!

Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!! - HAHAHA. There’s NOTHING that cheers me up more than the cheesiest pick up lines~~~

Was you father an alien? Because there’s nothing else like you on Earth!

You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.

Your legs must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night. – I loved telling this to James :)

Be unique and different, say yes.

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? - Awwww…

I’m fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight. (Hehehehe)

The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name. (I think this pretty good!)

I bet you $20 you’re gonna turn me down. (smart!)

Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street. (Gross =P)

Baby, I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock! – Personal fav xD

I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?

Are you wearing pants that astronauts wear? Cause your ass is out of this world.

Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. (CUTEEEEEEEEE.)

I’m sorry, were you talking to me? No? Well then, please start.

Are you a parking ticket? You got fine written all over you.

Are you lost? Because heaven’s a long way from here.

Is your last name Gillete? cause your the best a man can get. (OMG LOL)

I’m invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?

I‘m like chocolate pudding, I look like crap but im as sweet as can be. ( HAHAHAHAHAA !!!)

If you were a booger I’d pick you first. (=X)

What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper. (Kudos for creativity!)

You got something on your chest: my eyes. HAH!

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Singaporean men should use pick up lines more often!!
ANY of the above is better than

….”Hi, can we make frenz? Can I hav ur numberzxX?”

Whether it makes you cringe or laugh, gotta admit it:

JESSICA LOVES PICK UP LINES!

xoxo,
Jess

a smile is a smile, fake or not.

Faking a smile everyday is not easy.

But when I look around, I wonder how many other smiles are genuine..

Things have been crazy for me ever since you left. If only you knew babe, if only you knew jusr how crazy.

You said you would not be looking at my blog anymore.

In some way, it is a relief. I finally feel free to post whatever I like.

Getting over you is not easy. I am trying so hard not because I want to, but because I have to.

Life still has to go on. I have decided to focus my attention on the studies and working out in the gym.

Heh, sounds like a great plan but I doubt it would work. I must have faith in myself though.

Trying is the key. This pain doesn’t feel so raw anymore.

My head hurts just thinking about the “Whys” and “What ifs”.. Convincing myself that I’m better off without you is another new thing to me.


Is self-denial part of letting go of somebody you love?

Telling yourself that things are “this way for a reason” because that’s the only things would make sense.


There’s this odd sense of resignation to the situation. I can’t help it anymore, so I’m done trying.

All I hope for is that you are happy. Afterall, that’s why I’m willing to let you go. I think you’re better off that way.

I hope I’ll get happier in time too. Your message really affected me today, but I will not let it bring me down. I don’t really know what you mean by it, but that shouldn’t matter anymore, should it?

Learning to let go of things is my first step towards happiness.

I must learn to think of you and what we were without breaking down. Like a friend told me, the day I smile more than cry when I think about our memories – I know I have moved on.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

I will try not to cry because it’s over, but smile because it happened.

I love you, now and always, my dear friend. My best friend, my boyfriend.

I’ll miss you.

Tonight is another night alone..

xoxo,
Jess
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